We’re Marshall and Lily

The other day, amelie realized that we’re just like Marshall and Lily. Specifically the part of their relationship where they tell each other everything:

Ted: Trust me, not only do they tell each other everything, they want to know everything!

Flashback
Marshall: So after the shower I was brushing my teeth and I was like, oh man I wanted to have some orange juice I should’ve done that first! But I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush so I just went ahead a brushed them anyway.

Lily: What happened next?!

That is totally us:

kegger: I didn’t get done with work until 5:30.  Ugh.  Not fun for a Friday. Oh well.  Then I went to Friend’s to check on the animals.  They’re good.  Got home at 6:00, got some H2O (I was right, the soup was wonderful on my throat) and then watched that latest Robin Hood movie with Kurt Russell (it sucked ass) and then went to bed.  Now I’m being lazy, but when Husband wakes up, I’m going to have him move Dog’s cage outside for me so I can mop the kitchen, since I didn’t do it last weekend.

How was your night last night?  My cough is a little better.  I can feel gunk breaking up in my chest, so that’s good, I guess??  I dunno.

amelie: My night was fine. I washed, dried, folded, and put away all my clothes. I even washed the duvet cover. There was nothing on last night, so I actually turned the tv off for a while. I was too lazy to turn on my Wii or put a DVD in.

So, yes, we like Marshall and Lily, but mostly we are Marshall and Lily, in a best-friend, non-married, tell-each-other-everything way.

Don’t worry. We’ll keep the TMI moments to ourselves.

 

Weekly Wrap-up

This isn’t a what we loved/what we hated list. I have a lot of hate for a certain show which is dead to me (DEAD TO ME FOREVER, and no, I don’t want to talk about it), and I wanted to focus on the happy. So this is a Weekly Wrap-Up of the stuff we liked, with a few criticisms thrown in, just because. –ab

TV:

The Office
amelie: I kind of adored this episode. It was light and fun and there was no real drama. I agree with Michael–Cafe Disco is a magical place. I think Erin, the new receptionist, is adorable. She fits in well with the Scranton crew without trying too hard. And she has fun in the office, you can tell. I still can’t figure out why Dwight had to take his shirt off to give Phyllis a horse massage, though…

Favorite Moment: Kelly and Andy’s dance-off.

kegger:  At the beginning of this episode, I was thinking, man, Michael’s REALLY having a hard time getting back into the groove of things at Dunder Mifflin.  But THEN, he invented Cafe Disco.  And then I was like, oh, Michael, you’re awesome.  Loved it!  [Completely Unrelated Side note:  Does anyone else think think that Ryan’s next issue is going to be an eating disorder?  Since he was all like, “I’ve discovered since becoming a temp again that food is the only thing I can control.”?  Thoughts?]

amelie: He’s totally going to get an eating disorder. And Kelly and Andy’s new friendship is going to exacerbate things.

How I Met Your Mother

amelie: Stella is not the mother. Let me say that one more time. Stella is not the mother. She’s integral to Ted finding the mother, but she ain’t it. $5 says I’m right. In other news, Barney is a man whore, and, oh yeah, Barney loves Robin.

I have to say, as much as I enjoyed this week’s episode (the non-linear explanation of Ted getting to that particular corner at that particular time was brilliant, vintage HIMYM funnage), I miss Lily so much. There was this gaping hole in the Intervention scene, and it hurt. Come back, Lilypad. The gang needs you. (Slightly off topic, but kegger, if you ever need a cheap gift for me, I wouldn’t say no to an Intervention banner.)

Favorite Moment: Marshall’s Venn diagram of Cecilia (people who are breaking my heart/people who are shaking my confidence daily. Oh, Cecilia. I’m down on my knees. From laughter.)

kegger:  I’m going to seriously be pissed if Stella is the mother (which she’s totally not) because I hold grudges and that bitch left Ted at the altar.  That’s all I have to say about that.  And omg, LOVE Marshall and his charts!  But yeah.  I, too, miss Lily.

Pushing Daisies

amelie: Man. Just, man. You know who sucks? ABC. ABC is a bunch of rat bastards from hell and I hope they suffer. I managed to get my hands on the final three episodes (I have kickass friends) and they were awesomely bittersweet. I appreciate Bryan Fuller and how he wrapped everything up, but I want more. There’s this rule of good writing: show, don’t tell. I know the constraints of a short season and getting the can made this difficult, but I want to SEE how it plays out. I mean, I’m glad I was told how it goes down, but it’s not the same. I’m really going to miss the Pie Hole and all its peeps.

I’m not complaining. I’m really not. I was satisfied and happy with how it ended. I’m just frustrated that it had to end at all, I guess.

kegger:  Haven’t seen it yet.  😦  One day….

Music

Metric, Fantasies

amelie: This is a fun, kind of mellow, kind of weird album, and I like it.
Favorite Song: “Twilight Galaxy”

kegger:  I freaking love this entire album.  It makes me bounce my head.
Favorite Songs:  “Blindness,” “Help I’m Alive,” and “Twilight Galaxy”

Yeah Yeah Yeah’s, It’s Blitz!

kegger:  I haven’t listened to it quite as much as I’ve listened to the Metric album, but I still love it so far.
Favorite Songs:  “Heads Will Roll” and “Hysteria”

amelie: I’ve been listening to this one, too, but I haven’t heard enough of it to have a favorite song.

The Clash, London Calling

amelie: I’ve been going through an old-school phase lately, and this has been on heavy rotation on my iPod. I really enjoy this album. I don’t have any concrete reason, I just think it’s awesome.
Favorite Song: “Lost in the Supermarket”

Books

amelie: I still haven’t read anything worth talking about. I really need to look into that.

kegger: I’m currently in a YA phase.  I just finished reading The Summoning by um… Kelley Armstrong, I think?  Not bad.  Very quick read (as in, I started and finished it on the same night).  I’m also reading Jesus for President, by Shane Clairborne.  It’s a very pretty book.  You should totally go look at it in a bookstore, because it’s pretty and artistic and fun.

Movies

Leatherheads

amelie: Eh. It was okay. John Krasinski is adorable, and George Clooney is still one of the most handsome men ever. But I felt like this movie was trying too hard. It wanted to capture the sparkle and fun of the Katharine Hepburn/Carey Grant movies like “Bringing Up Baby” and “Philadelphia Story”, but it failed spectacularly. The convoluted war story tied in with professional football…I didn’t get it. And, honestly, I’d rather watch Katharine Hepburn eat kitty litter than just about anything Renee Zellwegger has done lately. Um. Was that mean?

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

kegger:  It’s about what you’d expect, being a Kevin Smith movie and all.  But I DO have to say that while I’m a fan of Seth Rogen, he’s beginning to seem like the same character in every single movie he’s been in lately.  Anyway, it’s a pretty good movie.  Lots of boobs.  Lots of ass.  We even see a wang, and some balls.  The only thing I was slightly dissatisfied with was the ending.  It was a happy ending, but the whole point of the movie was that Zack and Miri were making a porno, right?  Well, I won’t ruin it, but I’ll just say that the movie seemed slightly unfinished.  But it was decent, and good for a laugh.

Quantum of Solace

kegger:  It was TOTALLY not a James Bond movie.  He only got one girl (he’s at LEAST supposed to bang two girls per movie!  That’s like, a rule or something!), he had NO cool, fancy gadgets, and he was dark and broody.  I’m sorry, but James Bond is NOT dark and broody.  He’s a man whore who likes cool gadgets and Aston Martin cars.  Jason Bourne is dark and broody.  Not James Bond.  But, if you pretend that it’s not a James Bond movie, it’s not bad, I guess.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

kegger:  (I know, I know, I’ve watched an assload of movies this week.  Sue me.  It was rainy, and I couldn’t go outside!)  Meh.  That’s all I have to say.  The movie was just meh.  First off, Keaun Reeve’s character is coming to earth to kill humanity because we’re killing the planet.  But then he goes and saves people and stuff.  Why, if you’re just going to off them, anyway?  It was stupid, and it didn’t add up.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

amelie: Where did you find time to watch all those movies?!

kegger: I watched ALL of those movies on Sunday afternoon.  You know, since it was raining all freaking day.  And also because we’d been sitting on 3 Netflix rentals for over a week.  So… yeah.  We just got rid of them all at once.

—

&  

Boredom + Fun quotes = This

I have no excuse for this, other than I recently watched my favorite NewsRadio episode and received divine inspiration in the form of complete foolishness. So, have some inspiration.

The Complaint Box, as told by the gang from How I Met Your Mother:

Barney Stinson’s Legendary Guide to being Awesome

You can learn a lot from television. Things like how to create the perfect crime scene (watch out for those loose hairs. They’ll get you every damn time.) or how to successfully make a souffle. The most important thing I’ve learned is how to be awesome. It’s fairly simple:

1. Get rid of the goatee. It doesn’t go with your suit.

2. Get a suit.

3. Don’t even think about getting married until you’re 30.

4. Don’t wait for the signal. Just kiss her or him.

5. Grab life  by the crack and lick the crap out of it.

Weekly Wrap-Up: A Mixed Bag

What we loved:
How I Met Your Mother—Not a Father’s Day. Robin and Ted playing the angel and devil on Lily’s shoulder. Drunken Lily zooming around with a fire extinguisher and a rolling chair.

Chuck–Chuck and Casey’s hilarious, uncomfortable, and unhelpful lip smack. Did something else happen in that episode? We forget because we were laughing too hard.

Iron Man–Let’s ignore the fact that ameliebee is late to the party and celebrate the fact that she showed up at all. It was fun and entertaining and we both thought Robert Downey, Jr. (or as we like to call him, Jeffrey Dean Morgan) did a wonderful job as Tony Stark. Neither of us really felt Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts, and we pegged John Malkovich Jeff Bridges as the bad guy the second his bald head popped up on the screen.

The Office–Drunk-off-his-ass Oscar. “Call her! Call her! No, don’t call her!” “Why won’t you do Andy?” Dear Office producer-type people: We need more Drunk Oscar. He’s our favorite flavor of Oscar.

What we loathed:
How I Met Your Mother–Another cab ride and still no Ranjit? Boo.

Pushing Daisies–To be precise, we loathed the total lack of Ned, Chuck, Emerson, and Olive for the second week in a row. ABC, if you cancel this show because you can’t be arsed to promote it, you deserve all the rotten pie that will surely be sent to you.

What we’re indifferent about:
Chuck–Jill. We don’t love her, we don’t hate her. Right now, we nothing her.

Word of the Week

concierge [kon-see-airzh] n; the Winnipeg version of a geisha, trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure.

cheerleader effect [cheer-lee-der i-fekt] n; a group of seemingly attractive women who are, individually, butt ugly. “Just like with cheerleaders–they seem hot, but take each one individually, sled dogs.” See also: bridesmaids paradox, sorority girl syndrome, Spice Girls Conspiracy

Weekly Wrap-Up: All Things TV

1. The Office was cute last night, but it felt off. Although we loved Michael’s “It squeaks when you bang it. That’s what she said.” moment. And how cute are Holly and Michael? Too bad David Wallace (Hi, David Wallace! Nice to see you! You’re awesome!) is going to bust them like a pinata.

2. Supernatural was okay, but not the best of the season. However–HOWEVER–it did end on an awesomely funny moment that we will watch over and over and over again. Some clever person over at TWoP has christened it “Thigh of the Tiger.” We think that’s brilliant.

3. Pushing Daisies is getting better and better as the season goes on. Getting backstories on Olive last week and Emerson this week really helps balance out all the focus on Ned and Chuck. Thanks to Emerson, we learned a new way to make friends (Hi. My name is Blah Blah. Do you like blooby-bloo? I do, too. Let’s be friends!), which is a nice follow up to his lessons in how the mind works from two weeks ago: “Do you understand how a head works? Do you? Because very time you say something I got to think it. You say ‘Monkey in a bellhop suit driving a car,’ I think ‘Monkey in a bellhop suit driving a car.'”

4. Chuck also continues getting better this season. We have to find a way to book DJ John Casey and DJ Mad Dog Carmichael for a party. Poor Sarah/Jenny/Katie/whatever her name is. Also: she beat the crap out of Nicole Richie. That makes us really happy, and probably a little mean. Also also: Corey is all grown up! But where were Shawn and Topanga?)

5. How I Met Your Mother should be called How Ted’s heart gets broken all the time. amelie knew Stella wasn’t the mother (amelie: unless she is and then I knew that, too), but poor Teddy boy. Maybe we’ll get to see another awesome break-up beard. This show is good at continuity, so fingers crossed.  (kegger:  The episode ended sadly, but can I tell you just how much I loved how Barney tried to resist the bridesmaids to get Robin but then ended up having a threesome?  That’s SO Barney.) 

6.  True Blood was about as uneventful as it was last week.  To give you an idea, here’s a recap of last week:  Jason’s ass, funeral, Suckie’s boob.  That’s it.  And this week:  Suckie’s boob, Jason’s strung out on V, bar fight.  They’re making Jason into a cracked out druggie (which he TOTALLY isn’t in the book) and they’re adding all kinds of shit that isn’t in the books that they shouldn’t have bothered with.  And Voodoo exorcisms?  Really?  Just because it’s set in Lousiana?  Really?  Come up with something a little more creative than that, please!  And please, Bill, please stop calling Sookie “Suckie.”  Or actually, “Suckieeeeeeee,” because he totally draws out that last bit, and it makes my ears bleed every time.   

Weeknight Smackdown!

kegger and amelie used to watch a lot of television. (kegger:  A LOT of television!) Every night, except for Fridays and Saturdays, there was something that forced us to plonk down on the sofa (in a chair, on the bed, on the floor. We aren’t picky.) and stare at pretty people doing things that neither of us could ever do. Solve crimes, save lives, roll out of bed with perfectly tousled hair–not something either of us can do. (kegger:  Before the strike, life was good.)  

Things have changed, but not much. We get Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday nights off now. Sunday night is a grab bag–maybe we’ll watch True Blood, maybe we’ll watch something on DVD. The question is which night is better: Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday?

Monday: Chuck and How I Met Your Mother
Pros: Lots of laughter. Chuck perfectly balances drama and comedy. HIMYM has awesome (occasionally old) Barney. Oh, and Pretentious Ted, Canadian popstar-turned journalist Robin, and the world’s most perfect couple (of dorks) Marshall and Lily. Mondays, by their very nature of being Mondays, suck out loud. But we still look forward to them simply because we know we’ll get to laugh. Both shows make our Mondays not so crappy.

Cons: It’s Monday. We hate Mondays. And since Chuck and HIMYM overlap, we have to watch one and record the other, and that’s more work than we like to do on Mondays (if you’re amelie, that involves the wonderful DVR. If you’re kegger, it involves two televisions and a VCR. Either way, it’s less than fun.)

Wednesdays: Pushing Daisies
Pros: We adore this show. amelie wants to marry it and have it’s technicolor, dead-reviving-and-unreviving babies. Like Chuck, it balances drama and humor perfectly. It goes for the obvious gag (clowns in a car) but twists it enough to make it warped and funny (dead clowns in a car). Pushing Daisies manages to be heartbreaking and amusing. (amelie: I want to give Young Ned a gigantic hug, and give the Pie Maker, uh, a…a hug. Yeah. I want to give him a hug, too.) (kegger:  Screw hugging!  If I wasn’t married, I’d do him.)

Cons: Pushing Daisies is the only show we look forward to on Wednesday nights (the finale of Project Runway is tonight, and it’s a summer show, so it doesn’t count. The rules for Weeknight Smackdown are unflinchingly rigid. Or, you know, totally arbitrary.) so what the hell are we supposed to do from 8:00 until we go to bed? We can’t get behind Private Practice, we like Dirty Sexy Money, but not enough to tune in every week. Knight Rider? Not happening. We’ll save America’s Next Top Model for the inevitable (and evil) VH1 or MTV marathon. (kegger:  Damn you, ANTM marathons that always seem to suck me in when I don’t even like the effing show!) (amelie: Damn, you, kegger, for telling me about the ANTM marathons.If I don’t know about them, I can’t watch them.) Maybe if there were an awesome show after Pushing Daisies, Wednesdays could be a little more fantastic.

Thursdays: My Name Is Earl, The Office, 30 Rock, Supernatural (kegger:  Psst!  You forgot It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!) (amelie: oops!)
Pros: We’ve already established that we like to laugh. The Office–we work with these people, y’all. Everyone who’s ever worked in an office has worked with a Michael or a Dwight or a Jim or a Phyllis, and kegger actually does work with both a Dwight and a Creed. Although kegger doesn’t really watch Earl or 30 Rock, she has to admit that they are a little funny and should be included on this list. One day, she will understand why Supernatural is on this list. (kegger:  I promise, I’m really going to watch Season 1 soon!  I promise!) (amelie: mmhmm.)

Cons: Once again, everything is jammed up all over the place. Record one thing and watch another live. It gets old, and we don’t like it. Plus, the shows we like are up agains CSI and Grey’s Anatomy, so they never win in the ratings. It’s no fun being a fan of a bubble show, and those seem to be the only shows we fall for (coughVeronicaMarscough).

So, who’s the winner of the Weeknight Smackdown? Drumroll please…

Thursday Nights. And we are unanimous in that.

What We’re Watching: Fall ’08

Chuck

amelie: Even though season 1 was cut by the strike, it was a pretty stellar set up for what’s to come. Where else am I going to get my geek/spy love each week?

kegger: It’s like Alias meets The O.C. I’m sold.  And can I just mention that Adam Baldwin is freaking awesome?

Pushing Daisies

amelie: Poor baby was not just shortened by the strike–season 1 barely existed! But PD is that one show that doesn’t need a lot of episodes to make an impression; the pilot alone is unforgettable. The oversaturated colors, the quirky characters, the underlying layer of sadness beneath the shiny surface of humor–I want it all back and I want it back NOW. Or, you know, next Wednesday. Whatever. I’m easy like that.

kegger: I love Chuck and Ned!  And I love all of the shiny happy colors.  This show reminds me of a colorful Edward Scissorhands for some reason.

The Office

amelie: Hopefully the NBC wanktards have learned that burning off all the hour-long episodes at the beginning of the season was a colossal waste of time and talent. And even if they haven’t learned, I’m still this show’s bitch and I’ll watch whatever they come up with.

kegger: Don’t get me wrong–I LOVE hour long episodes of The Office, but KNOWING there was a strike coming up, couldn’t they have spread it all out a little bit so we wouldn’t have to go through Office withdrawls?  I hope this show never ends!

30 Rock

amelie: Each week this show gets wackier and funnier and more outrageous. And each week, I still want to hit that.

How I Met Your Mother

amelie: It’s back, babydoll! I will cry foul for years and years until NPH gets his freaking Emmy. He managed to Ted out in the season opener without douching it up. He’s funny and sweet and surprisingly deep for a self-proclaimed bimbo lover. Okay, okay, so Barney isn’t the center of the show–the whole gang is important and I’m glad we still don’t know who the mother is. I’m content to watch it play out for as long as Bays and Thomas want.

kegger: I’m a new HIMYM convert–I got hooked on it during the strike.  So this will be my first season that I get to watch while it’s actually on television and not on DVD.  And I have a feeling it’s going to be… legen… wait for it… dary!  (Shut up.  I know that was cheesy, but I couldn’t resist.) [amelie: It will also be de…wait for it…lightful. Delightful!]

Supernatural

amelie: This is my new baby, which I still haven’t gotten kegs to watch yet. I’m working on it, though. I only just caught up with season 3 (thank you, CW reruns!). The season 4 opener was so strong and wonderful that any disappointment I had in season three has been conveniently forgotten. Bring on more pretty boys hunting things. Whee!

kegger: I’ve actually never in my life seen an episode of Supernatural (and it’s all your fault, you whores at DirecTV that don’t freaking give me the CW!!!) but amelie has been trying to convince me to watch it for a while now.  I’m game.  Hot guys?  Works for me.  Or, it WOULD, if I freaking had the CW!!!!!

True Blood

amelie: I’m still on the fence about this one. On the one hand, it’s got pretty people and vampires and I think we’ve covered the fact that I’m easy. On the other hand, GOD the accents. So it’s a toss up.

kegger: I have a thing for vampires and witches and all things supernatural (which means I would probably love Supernatural, amelie!) so I’ll probably give this show a chance longer than amelie just because I like the genre.  But, I do have some serious problems with it.

1.  The books are just okay.  So far, anyway.  I’ve only read book one.  And logically, it makes sense to me that if a book that is just okay, is going to make a show that’s just okay, or worse.  Usually worse.

2.  There’s a LOT of unnecessary sex.  Don’t get me wrong, sex is fine, but unnecessary sex is just kind of annoying.  We get it.  You’re on HBO.  You can show boobs all day long.  Enough, already.

3.  The Southern accents make me cringe every time I hear them.

4.  They freaking pronounce the main character’s name “Suckie” instead of “Sookie.”  What?!?!?  Suckie?!  Um, NO!  I don’t care how Southern you are, no one would call that poor girl Suckie! [amelie: Uh, yeah, except for the part where you and I call all things True Blood-related “Suckie.”]

But still.  Vampires and hot boys?  I’ll keep watching for now.  [amelie: Psst: There are vampires and HOT BOYS in Supernatural. In case you were wondering…] [kegger:  I do believe you’ve mentioned that before, amelie.]

The Awesomes

We’ve already discussed the things that sucked this television season. Now here are the things we loved, laughed at, and talked about. brooklyn is helping us out again, because she rocks like that.

Most Dramatic Moment in a Comedy: Ted breaks up with Barney, How I Met Your Mother; Jim comforts Dwight, The Office
amelie: My heart broke a little when Ted ended his bro-lationship with Barney. It was sad and depressing, just like a break-up should be.

kegger: Love both of these, but Ted breaking up with Barney wins hands down for me.

brooklyn: Definitely HIMYM. Usually, if I cry during Mother, it’s because I’m laughing too hard. This breakup punched me in the grief bone.
Winner: Ted and Barney’s break up

Awesomest New Show: Pushing Daisies, Chuck, Gossip Girl
amelie: I love you, Chuck, but PD wins this one for me. I’m a sucker for whimsy and Lee Pace. (See: Wonderfalls)

kegger: PD and Chuck tie for me. I love them both for different reasons. One is funny and awesome, and the other whimsical and dream-like.

brooklyn: PD. Come on, the aunts are synchronized swimmers! Olive! Emerson! And, of course, Ned is the sex.

Winner: Pushing Daisies

Yes, They Went There Award (for actually paying off a season-long story line): sending Dean to Hell, Supernatural
amelie: I’m currently in the middle of season 1 and haven’t seen any of season 3, but I do know that the hell hounds did, in fact, swoop down on Dean and sent his short-but-very-fine-ass to hell, where there are meat hooks and blood and pain.
Winner: Supernatural, by default

Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey Award for shows that fuck with time: Doctor Who, Lost, HIMYM
amelie: DW, obvi. I mean, he’s a time-traveling, planet-hopping alien. And he coined the phrase “wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.”

kegger: DW. His competition isn’t really on the same level when it comes to wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.

brooklyn: Lost. Flashforwards, flashbacks, and time-travel lead to headaches.
Winner: Doctor Who

Thank God for Non-Reality Summer Programming: Psych, Burn Notice
amelie: This is difficult, because I love both these shows very much. But I’m going to give it to Psych because it’s all-out silly and fun and just what I want in the summer. Although, if I get lots of shirtless Jeffrey Donovan, my vote might change…

kegger: Tie.

brooklyn: Psych. Shawn & Gus: the best of bros.
Winner: Psych

Animal sidekick who deserves his own show: Digby the undying dog, Pushing Daisies; Sprinkles the cat, The Office
amelie: Whenever I see poor, unpetted Digby, I have to give my dog a big hug. Not only has he stuck by Ned’s side all these untouchable years, he makes a kick-ass dancing partner. Sprinkles loses points for being mercy-killed by Dwight.

kegger: Love Digby. I still think it’s kind of a miracle that he hasn’t touched him in this long. I think I would have by accident, I think. Plus, I light to snuggle up with my dog, so having Digby around would be kind of difficult for me.

brooklyn: Agreed. And, Sprinkles is dead.

Winner: Digby

Most Inappropriately Funny Moment of the Season: Jack role plays Tracy Jordan’s family, 30 Rock
amelie: I believe I sat in stunned silence for a good 30 seconds after watching this the first time. And then I rewatched it and laughed until I couldn’t breathe.

brooklyn: Agreed. Best therapy session ever.
Winner: Jack Donaghy