The Un-Awesomes

kegger and I decided to create our own television awards. And we’re doing it now when there’s not a glut of awards show pomp and glitz. In other words, it just occurred to us. The first part is the Un-Awesomes: the awards for things that basically sucked. We asked our good friend and fellow tv-geek freak fan brooklyn to help us out. Three opinions are better than two, even if that third opinion is eerily similar to ours.

Without further ado, here are the nominees and winners (losers?) for the Un-Awesomes:

The Jericho Kiss Of Death: Moonlight

amelie: There’s one show every year that people try desperately to save. See:Arrested Development, Veronica Mars, Jericho. This year it was Moonlight. The fans even had a blood drive to save the show. When the gift of life can’t un-dead a show about the un-dead, there’s no hope.

kegger: I wish, just for once, that they’d let the cult favorite show stay on the air. I’m STILL bitter about Veronica Mars. Plus, Logan Echolls is once again homeless now that Moonlight is officially cancelled. Poor Logan. (Did they really put on a blood drive to save the show?!)

brooklyn: I didn’t watch Jericho and I didn’t watch Moonlight. And now I’m glad.

Winner: Moonlight

Cassidy “Beaver” Casablancas Memorial Award for Biggest Out-of-Left-Field Villainy: Zack Addy, Bones
amelie: I’m still stunned at this. I mean, if you actually go back and watch the episode where the lobbyist died, it’s clearly not Eric Millegan. So, uh, screw you Hart Hanson. You suck.

brooklyn: Agreed. But, you know, it would’ve been even crazier if it’d been Angela–isn’t she the one that “recreates” the flesh? And is a people’s person? That could be interpreted to mean that she also eats people. Whatever, BONES.
Winner: Zack Addy

Biggest Letdown, returning show: Heroes
amelie: I don’t even know where to begin with this. Hiro’s interminable stay in feudal Japan. Peter’s Oirish girlfriend. Claire’s douchebag boyfriend. The fact that I STILL don’t get Niki/Jessica’s power. I don’t even remember how the season ended, that’s how disappointed I was in it.

kegger: I’m in total agreement. Ali Larter‘s character is completely useless. And Claire’s boyfriend was the biggest ball of cheese I’ve ever seen. And hm… let’s see. I think at some point during the season finale, Kristen Bell was sitting in a car and a window got broken. It’s sad when that’s the most memorable part of the episode for me.

brooklyn: I couldn’t even watch this season. Epic fail.
Winner: Heroes

Biggest Letdown, new show: Bionic Woman

amelie: I saw five minutes of the pilot and passed out from boredom.

kegger: I watched one episode. I like Katee Sackoff in BSG, and I didn’t expect to like this show, but I thought I’d give it a chance. It’s sad that Katee Sackoff stole the show with her wimpy part. The person they picked to be their main character just didn’t work. Not to mention that the show just sucked in general.

brooklyn: I saw two episodes. I liked 20% of it. And her name was Michelle Ryan.
Winner: Bionic Woman

All Sex and No Plot Gives My Television the Clap: Grey’s Anatomy, Torchwood
amelie: This one is a draw for me. On the one hand, there was a whole storyline on GA about how every had VD. (Yeah, so it was a few years ago. IT STILL HAPPENED.) On the other hand, Captain Jack will sleep with
anything that moves, up to and including various alien life forms.

kegger: This one is a tough one, because they both have lots of useless sex. But I think I might pick Torchwood to be the winner of this one. Their sex scenes (or their implication of sex scenes) just didn’t fit with the show. They were awkward and just…strange.

brooklyn: I’ll go with Torchwood, as well, even though I don’t watch it.
Winner: Torchwood

I Don’t Care How Good You Say This Show Is, I’m Not Watching It: The Big Bang Theory, Aliens in America, Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters, The Wire

amelie: I’m going to give this one to The Wire. If I never hear How! Incredibly! Awesome! The Wire is ever again, I’ll die happy.

kegger: Draw. No thank you to all of them. I’m sick of hearing about them!

brooklyn: Out of all of them, I’d probably actually watch The Wire. So I’m going to say Aliens in America. Screw you, CW.
Winner: The Big Bang Theory, Aliens in America, Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters, The Wire

Worst Use of a Former Veronica Mars Cast Member: Percy Daggs in the Orbit commercial, Kristen Bell in Heroes

amelie: Percy. Always Percy. My soul dies a little every time I hear him say, “Bring it on, Düsseldorf.” At least this is a step up from the Hot Pockets commercial.

kegger: I would nominate that chick that plays Hannah–she’s on the KFC/McDonald’s commercial (we can’t decide which one) but I refuse to nominate her because I hated that bitch!

brooklyn: Percy. Hannah is dead to me. And it’s totally KFC because I am a nerd and checked the website.
Winner: Percy

Worst Boss in TVLand: Michael Scott, The Office; Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
amelie: I’d hate to work for either of these guys, but for different reasons. I think, though, that Michael wins (loses?) this one. At least Jack isn’t a walking sexual harassment lawsuit.

kegger: Michael Scott hands down, but that’s because I don’t watch 30 Rock.

brooklyn: I would work for Michael. I would be like Holly and laugh at his jokes, and it would be joyous. I would also work for Jack, but since he’s lost his job, I’m going to have to go with Michael Scott–the Japanese version.
Winner: Michael Scott of any ethnicity

Stay tuned for the Awesomes: the things that rocked our socks this tragically short television season.

Reactions to Finales

Bones: Zack is Gorgonzola’s apprentice? ZACK is Gorgonzola’s apprentice?! Screw you, Bones. SCREW YOU.

How I Met Your Mother: Barney loves Robin! Barney and Ted are back together! Barney loves Robin!

Oh, yeah, and Ted proposed to Stella. What’s up with that?

Weekly Wrap-Up

Here are our thoughts on the week. It’s pretty heavy on the television. Keg and I are still trying to decompress from crazy (cough*phone-washing*cough) weekends.

Television:
The Office

amelie: Dude. Dude. There’s a lot to process with this episode, and when I’m more coherent, I’ll post a better analysis of it. But for now, here are my fangirl thoughts: Best office party ever. Seriously. I want Phyllis to plan my parties. Jim was all kinds of on fire with closing the big deal, giving Michael sound relationship advice, gearing up to propose to Pam, and leaving hilarious voicemails to a now-jailed Ryan. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, Mr. Howard. Snerk. Kevin-is-retarded has got to be the best running gag on the show in a long time. I hope they keep that up.

kegger: Oh holy geeze that was without a doubt the most exciting hour of television that I’ve seen since the writer’s strike ended! Ryan got arrested! DWIGHT AND ANGELA!!!!! DWIGHT AND ANGELA DOING IT IN THE OFFICE!!! They were the LAST people I expected to see doing the nasty in the workplace. I’m still a little in shock!!! And while I was initially pissed about Andy ruining Jim’s moment, I’m okay with it now as long as they get engaged eventually. Eventually being sooner rather than later. And JAN’S PREGNANT! At first, when she told Michael that it wasn’t his, I said, “OHMYGOSH IT’S HUNTER’S!”

amelie: Yeah, you did. I thought you were a genius. I might have to revoke that status.

kegger: But now I’m not so sure. I don’t think she went to a sperm bank, though. I mean, what would be the point of doing that while she was still dating Michael? So, my current running theories is that it’s either Michael’s and she’s just not telling him, or that it’s Hunter’s. But I think it might be Michael’s. And Toby’s replacement is awesome!

amelie: I think it’s Michael’s, too. Jan is masterful at lying to herself. Switching gears a little, check out the first deleted scene. A Meredith-Dwight alliance is the work of the devil. Question: if the devil were to explode and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?

[amelie: kegger doesn’t watch the next two shows, but I do, so here is my take on Reaper and Bones:

Reaper: I only saw the last five minutes, so all I know is Sam’s the son of the Devil! I knew it had to be something like that. I can’t wait to see how this pans out, and since Reaper got a pick up from the CW (as a midseason show, but still–better than nothing at all), I’ll get some closure on this.

Bones: Holy shit. Booth got shot, y’all! If this were Torchwood or Doctor Who or Heroes, I’d be worried that Booth was really dead, but it’s not, so I’m not. I do hope that he isn’t too badly hurt. And I’ve got to say that watching Bones plug Fat Pam in the throat was totally ruthless and awesome. She is definitely Max Keenan’s daughter.]

Doctor Who–spoilers after the jump