Posts tagged ‘stupid people’

It’s official. Our kids are stupid.

This is an actual conversation between the night supervisor at work and a research associate, Brittnay:

Brittnay: I’m gonna leave for an hour to have dinner with family that’s visiting from out of town.  I’ll be back, so can I just leave this call sheet at my cubicle for later?

Supervisor: Yeah ok.  What area are you calling?

Brittnay: What do you mean?

Supervisor: What area of the country are you calling?

Brittnay: Oh.  I don’t know.  They’re nice though!

Supervisor: …you don’t know?

Brittnay: No.  How do I tell?

Supervisor: ...(shocked silence)… Look at the state column on your call sheet.

Brittnay: (long pause as she studies call sheet) it says PA, whatever that means.

Supervisor: …(shocked silence)… Ok.  That means Pennsylvania.

Brittnay: Oh really?  I always wondered what those letters meant.

What’s ESPECIALLY awful is that this chick is 19 years old.  NINETEEN.  I learned my states–and their abbreviations and their capitals and where they were on a map–in freaking SIXTH GRADE!  Sixth grade!  How the heck did she graduate high school if she doesn’t even know what “PA” means under a column titled “State”?  How does she send letters or pay bills?!

I think this is what’s wrong with America today.  Our kids are stupid.

Also, her name is spelled B-R-I-T-T-N-A-Y.  Brittnay.  BRITTNAY.  Not Britney or Brittany, the two most common ways to spell that name, but Brittnay.  You don’t even freaking PRONOUNCE it that way. Ugh.

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October 23, 2009 at 12:01 pm 1 comment

Be Stupid and Multiply

So, I found this site today. And I’ve spent almost an hour reading it. Y’all, people are idiots. I just…I can’t even…There are no words.

And yet, I have laughed my ass off all morning. Thanks, stupid people. You are highly amusing as long as I don’t have to deal with you.

July 14, 2008 at 11:55 am Leave a comment

Dear…

  • Dear Britney Spears,

Please get the hell off of my television.  And please start wearing panties.  No one wants to see your yoo-hoo.    

Sincerely,  

Kegger   

  • Dear politician people,

Please get the hell off of my television.  I don’t like you.  Please go away.

Sincerely,

Kegger    

  • Dear Lindsey Lohan,

You’re a dirty skanky whore.  Please get the hell off of my television.

Sincerely,

Kegger   

  • Dear Paris Hilton,

You’ve got to be the stupidest human being that God has ever created.  Please get the hell off of my television.  And stop saying, “That’s hot,” because it’s not hot at all–it’s actually quite obnoxious.  

Sincerely, 

Kegger     

  • Dear Jared Leto,

You were so freakin’ hot in My So-Called Life.  I mean, seriously, lickably hot.  (You were also seriously hot in Requiem for a Dream until you got all heroinish, and you were also quite lickable in Fight Club until you were beaten into a bloody pulp and got all toothless and ugly.)  Please, get on my television screen more often.  Please.  Or better yet, screw the television, just come sit by me on my couch so I can watch you in person.  But please get rid of the guyliner when you aren’t on stage singing with your band.  

Sincerely,

Kegger

P.S.–You’re hot.      

  • Dear oil executive people,

Please lower gas prices.  I’m begging you.  I’m getting desperate here.  And please stop taking yearly $440 million dollar bonuses.  Seriously, isn’t a million dollar bonus enough?  I mean, after you reach a billion or so, do you really NEED more money?  And if you don’t lower your gas prices, I think someone should go Mr. and Mrs. Smith on your asses and assasinate you all,  and leave creepy letters next to your bodies that say “This is what happens to oil executives who raise gas prices.”  And then, the upcoming oil executives might just be balls scared.  And maybe fear of being assisinated just might keep them from raising gas prices.  [Side Note:  If this really does happen, please take note that I wouldn’t ever seriously assassinate someone.  But it is fun to think about being a spy.  Being a spy could be fun.  Like Sydney Bristow on Alias.  I freakin love that show.  I totally made me want to be a spy.] 

Sincerely,

Kegger  

  • Dear Writer’s Guild of America people,

Thank you thank you thank you for ending the strike.  Please bring back good television as soon as possible!  And please tell the people in charge that shows like “Dance with the Stars,” or “Dance with Your Mom,” or whatever the hell they’re called SUCK!!  Please tell them to get those shows the hell off my television. 

Sincerely,

Kegger  

  • Dear amelie bee,

We seriously need to blog more often.  And we need to work less.  

Sincerely,

Kegger  

March 12, 2008 at 12:34 am 1 comment

A rant

I have to bitch a little today.  Being my age at this time kind of sucks.  The housing market is ridiculous.  I’m beginning to think that I’ll NEVER get ahead or be able to afford to buy my own house.  Every day on the news they talk about the housing market slump, and about how housing prices have dropped 5%.  Well, you know what?  THAT’S NOT ENOUGH!  They need to freaking drop 50%, not 5%.  My husband’s parents bought their 3 bedroom, 2 bath house in 1980ish for freaking $50,000.  Now a house that’s SMALLER than theirs sells for over $150,000.  That’s just not right.  How are people in their 20’s who are just starting out ever going to be able to get ahead?  I keep hearing crap about how our generation is going to be the first generation ever to NOT make more than our parents, and I think they’re right.  We get paid less and we do the same amount of money, and the only way to make more money is to job hop.  And I don’t want to job hop!  I like my job!  But I also want to be comfortable.  Not rich, just comfortable.  And I know that people will probably say, “But people get paid more now than they did in 1980.  I DON’T!  My salary is crap!  And I expect most people in their mid 20’s would say the same thing.  We’re never going to be able to afford to buy a house or have kids at this rate.  I hate to admit it, because I know that the housing slump really is hurting people, but every day when I hear that the housing market is getting WORSE instead of better, I kind of smile.  I like that it’s going under, I take great pleasure in the fact that it’s going under and that stingy mortgage companies are suffering.  Because there’s no reason for these houses to cost so much.  And half of the people that they’ve given loans to should probably have never gotten them to begin with.  I don’t think a bank should loan you money when they KNOW it’s going to kick your ass and that you’ll probably never be able to pay it off. And most of the stupid houses are built much more poorly than they were a few decades ago.  I know this because I have a geological engineer friend who has watched half of these houses in our area being built and they aren’t pressing the ground enough before they pour the foundation, which means that these brand new nice, luxury, expensive houses are going to have MAJOR foundation cracks in about five years.   I could go on for days and days about how annoyed I am with the housing market and the crappy salaries that a 20 something like me makes–WITH a college degree, but instead, I think I’ll jump to another topic. 

 If you vote for Barak Obama ONLY because Oprah is endorsing him, then you’re stupid.  If you like him, then go for it, vote for him.  But if the fact that Oprah likes him has made YOU like him, then I can’t insult you enough.  You’re stupid.  It’s one thing to read a book from Oprah’s book club because she liked it and recommended it.  It’s another thing altogether to vote for someone because she likes him.  And if you vote for Mike Huckabee just because Chuck Norris likes him, then you’re stupid, too!!  Last weekend I was watching the news report about how responsive everyone was to Oprah’s endorsement and it made me think.  Are people seriously going to vote for him just because she likes him?  Because that really just blows my mind.  Like I said, if you like him, vote for him!  But if you’re only going to vote for him because Oprah told you to, then… I don’t know what else to say.  You’re just stupid. 

December 17, 2007 at 4:32 pm Leave a comment


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