Posts tagged ‘New Facebook Sucks’

Friendship Over

Dear Facebook,

We need to talk.

I think we should see other people. It’s not me, it’s you. I feel like we’ve grown apart. We’re different people now, and it’s time for me to move on. Even though I stuck with you through your many face-lifts, I can’t sit by any longer and watch you turn yourself into a junked-up, over-populated MySpace clone.

I know I wasn’t as patient or supportive as I could have been, but now is not the time for regrets. I’ve tried to be understanding of your obsessive need to update my feed with quiz results, and now I feel like all I do is nag. “Stop with the quiz results, honey. I don’t care what Peanuts character you are. No, I don’t really want to know what mother-smurfing Smurf you are. Jesus, STOP WITH THE QUIZZES!” That’s not healthy for either of us.

It’s not just the quizzes, though. Your highlights are really more like don’t-care-lights. I’m a little sick of you asking me “What’s on your mind?” I don’t always have profound thoughts, Facebook. You should know that by now. Asking me “What’s on your mind?” only serves to remind me how shallow I am and puts me in a bad mood when I try and fail to think of something clever.

You know what’s not fun, Facebook? Having to change my privacy settings to keep things private from my family and coworkers. When we met, you were a fun way for me to keep up with my FRIENDS, not every Joe Blow who bumped into me on the street, not everybody I work with, attend church with, or see in the grocery store. You were fun. You were cool. But your insatiable need to grow and expand has left me feeling cold and alone and neglected. I miss the old you.

I know we said it was forever, but people change. I think we got too serious, too fast. I want something a little less stressful and cluttered, which is why I’ve been Twittering a lot lately. I’m sorry if that hurts you, Facebook, but it’s the truth. I just feel like Twitter understands me better than you do, even though you and I have history.

No matter what, I do want you to be happy. I would say that we can still be friends, but I’ve already deleted you.

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April 13, 2009 at 9:10 pm Leave a comment

New Facebook–Epic Fail

In amelie’s words, the new Facebook makes the baby Jesus cry.

It’s awful.  It’s the most un-user friendly website I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.  Whoever designed it should be publicly humiliated in front of the Washington Monument.  Or something.

I used to be pretty addicted to Facebook.  Now?  Since they changed me over to the new, crappy, hard to navigate “new” Facebook, I’ve avoided it like the plague.

How the hell am I supposed to keep up with everyone if I can’t even find their information?  I liked having all of my info on one page.  What’s the point of having Flair if no one is even going to get to SEE my flair?  Because I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m not wasting my time clicking on an “Applications” tab.  It’s not worth the effort and not worth the time.  And they’ve stretched the pages so they don’t fit on my screen anymore.  I think this is going to make them lose advertising, (and I hope it does, because new Facebook SUCKS!) because now the ads are on the right side of the page, and I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m not going to bother scrolling over to the right side of the page just to look at some ad.  Nope.  Sorry.  Not happening.

And the Photos page–they completely eliminated the point of having photo albums.  Because now it’s just a big old jumbled mess.

I really don’t get their logic.  The guy who designed new Facebook must have a brain that works completely different than everyone else’s, because if he SERIOUSLY thought that it was easier to navigate and more user friendly, he’s got to be mildly nuts.  Or on some serious drugs.  Or something.

So amelie and I have a plan.  Admittedly, it probably won’t work, but it at least makes me feel better.  (It doesn’t make amelie feel better.  She’s still pissed.)  Until they somehow improve the site, or until they admit that they came up with a REALLY bad idea and take it back to the old design, we’re going to send them daily negative feedback.  They might not read it, but it’s about the ONLY thing I’ll be doing on Facebook until they improve it somehow, because every time I log on now, I cringe, look at the home page, and immediately log off again.

So, Facebook team–new Facebook sucks.  It’s an epic fail.  Admit it and take it back to the old format!  Pretty please, with a game of Scrabulous on top?

September 17, 2008 at 11:00 am 2 comments


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