Posts tagged ‘Olympics’

Funny signs you might see while you’re in China for the Olympics

I hear the Chinese government worked their asses to take down mistranslated signs before the Olympic teams came into town. Go to if this type of thing amuses you.

This sign was trying to warn that the ceiling was low.

August 22, 2008 at 10:29 am 3 comments

Stop being me!

I know kegger and I say we’re alike a lot. And I’m sure y’all think we’re full of shit, just saying that because we think it’s funny or for whatever insane reason. Well, you’re wrong. Here are the things we’ve had in common in the last two days. Two days, people.

1. We both want henna tattoos.
2. We both looked up henna tattoo kits on Amazon.
3. We only want henna tattoos because we’re too afraid to get real tattoos.
4. We want tattoos in the same place (on our foot or hand/inner wrist arm area).
5. We both agree there’s no way that one Chinese gymnast is anything older than 12. Maybe she’s 14, but she’s not 16.
6. We both spent a lot of time looking at that one post with those pictures when we need a boost. You know the one.
7. Mmmmmm, Phelps and all his Olympic glory is by far the best thing going for the games this year, but we both agree that the media needs to back off his 8-gold-medals quest. WE GET IT, media. Now please shut up so we can watch the pretty, wet boy swim.
8. We both love love love Two Stick’s fried crawfish rolls.
9. We both think the wrong person got kicked off of Project Runway this week, and we both think the judges picked the wrong winner. Again.
10. amelie and kegger both want to kill Suede every time he speaks in third person on Project Runway.
11. we both crapped out at 2:00 friday afternoon and are now unable to use upper case letters or good grammar. deal with it.

August 15, 2008 at 2:32 pm Leave a comment

Even more things to look forward to seeing if you’re in China for the Olympics

I think I win at this game, don’t I?

August 11, 2008 at 4:30 pm 7 comments

MORE things to look forward to seeing if you’re in China for the Olympics!

Crowded apartments.  She’s washing her hair outside.  Probably because she lives with 11 other girls and it’s just more peaceful to do it outside.  (And no, I’m not joking.  This is a college dorm.  And she really does have 11 roommates.) 

Scenic views. 

Homecooked chicken.  I’m going to have to explain this one a bit for you to get the full effect, though.  This picture (and the picture of the boy on top of the roof) was taken in a village in a mountain.  These people are a poor minority group in China (which means they’re allowed to have more than one kid) and they very rarely leave home.  They’re incredibly poor, and they waste NOTHING.  Everything from that slaughtered chicken was used.  The feathers were saved to make pillows later.  The meat was used to eat, and what they didn’t use, they fed to their pigs.  The blood was kept to use as a sauce. 

Yes.  A sauce.  A chicken blood sauce. 

When we went to their village, we were told that they were very poor, and they were making a feast for us (and they did.  They were very kind and very nice).  We were also told that whatever they put on our plate (no matter how rancid–and believe me, there was some rancid food there), we had to eat.  No matter what.  Which I thought I could handle. 

Until the chicken blood sauce. 

I turned green.  I almost puked.  It was not cool.  But thankfully, they knew we would be picky, so they saved the chicken blood sauce for themselves to use later.  The only thing they put on our plate was white rice, and all of the other food was put on a separate plate for us to choose from.  God bless them.  I ate every single tiny little kernel of rice on my plate.

Bonus picture: 

This is what I was talking about in my last post.  It was much better than the alternative.  Although, did I mention that the toilet was in the shower?  Yep.  We had to straddle that nifty little hole every time we took a shower.  Needless to say, I didn’t shower nearly as much as I usually do while I was over there.  The hole kind of freaked me out.  I was afraid my flip flops would slip into it or something.  One girl on our trip actually lost some body wash down the hole and it ended up stopping up a toilet on the lower floor of the apartment complex.  Oops.  🙂 


August 11, 2008 at 10:45 am Leave a comment

Things to look forward to seeing if you’re in China for the Olympics!

Crowded apartment complexes with clothes hanging out to dry. [amelie: Oh, thank God. No more squatty potties.]

Open produce markets with brightly colored spices for sale. [amelie: Pretty. I want to sink my hands in them.]

… and dogs.

(It’s kind of disturbing…  Especially if you’re a dog lover.) 


August 8, 2008 at 9:27 am 7 comments

Olympic Thoughts

If you’re going to the Beijing Olympics, sure, you have Tiananmen Square and the Great Wall and the Forbidden City to look forward to.

But what else do you have to look forward to?

Squatty potties!!!! And that’s not even the worst one. That’s actually a sophisticated squatty potty. That one flushes. What to see one that’s even worse? [amelie: Absofuckinglutely not. No. Please, kegger. Don’t do it.]

And that picture doesn’t even come close to doing it justice. That potty was nasty. There are no words. [amelie: I told you not to do it, but you did it anyway. Damn you!]

Enjoy China, everyone! I sure did when I went there! But maaaaaan was I glad when I got home!!!!!

Additional tips: You think plane bathrooms are bad? No. Compared to squatty potties, they’re the best thing in the history of the universe. Use it one last time, while you can. There is ONE Western toilet in the Beijing airport in each of the women’s bathrooms. The rest are squatties. Take that chance and use it one last time. The nicer hotels probably have western toilets, but you’re pretty much screwed everywhere else you go, so if I were you, I’d drink as little as possible while I was over there and only pee in my hotel.

Also, it’s okay to drink their green tea (which is pretty much all anyone over there offers you)–it doesn’t make you poo like Mexico’s water. [amelie: You know what? I’m never going anywhere with you ever.]

August 6, 2008 at 3:31 pm 6 comments

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