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The Awesomeness of Vampire Diaries

We will loudly and proudly admit that we like The Vampire Diaries. Doesn’t matter that it’s about vampires—they are totally not lame and there’s no sparkling. Doesn’t matter that it’s on the CW—we’ll always hold a grudge against them for canceling Veronica Mars, but we can overlook it for the sake of this show. It’s not just a guilty pleasure to watch—there’s nothing guilty about liking it.

Here’s why we like this show: shit happens. There is an over-arching mythology, sure. But in building the foundation for the mythology—the mysteries and secrets that give it depth—the writers haven’t neglected to answer the little questions. Take this season’s moonstone. First it was “What is the moonstone?” and “Why does Katherine want it?” We’re six episodes in, and we know what the moonstone is and we have a pretty good guess as to why Katherine wants it. (You could take some lessons from Vampire Diaries, Lost!!) We’ve also got werewolves this year. We know that it’s a family curse, and we know how the curse is activated. We’ve gotten background on Katherine, Stefan, and Damon that’s helped us understand what’s going on and helped push the plot forward. We’ve had permanent deaths, un-deaths, vampire-making deaths. We’ve had fake break-ups and real break-ups. We’ve had all kinds of juicy character developments. It’s twisty and twisted and dark but not dreary, all sharp storytelling and real, coherent plot development. You guys, it’s A Good Show.

And, seriously, the sheer amount of Shit That Happens in each episode is staggering. Most shows would stretch things out as long as possible, which doesn’t really create tension within the confines of the show; it just frustrates the viewers.

It’s almost too bad VD is on the CW, because it’s unlikely that any of the cast will get the recognition they deserve. If we gave out Emmy awards, Nina Dobrev would be high on our list just for the number of scenes she’s in (practically every one, if you’re wondering. And sometimes twice in the same scene. We get exhausted just watching her.) You never have to wonder if you’re watching Elena or Katherine—the differences between the two might be subtle, but they’re there and you know who she is.

Even if vampires and werewolves aren’t your thing, you should give it a try. It has consistently churned out solid story lines, thoughtful dialogue, and, uh, this and this.

October 29, 2010 at 9:54 am Leave a comment

We’re Marshall and Lily

The other day, amelie realized that we’re just like Marshall and Lily. Specifically the part of their relationship where they tell each other everything:

Ted: Trust me, not only do they tell each other everything, they want to know everything!

Flashback
Marshall: So after the shower I was brushing my teeth and I was like, oh man I wanted to have some orange juice I should’ve done that first! But I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush so I just went ahead a brushed them anyway.

Lily: What happened next?!

That is totally us:

kegger: I didn’t get done with work until 5:30.  Ugh.  Not fun for a Friday. Oh well.  Then I went to Friend’s to check on the animals.  They’re good.  Got home at 6:00, got some H2O (I was right, the soup was wonderful on my throat) and then watched that latest Robin Hood movie with Kurt Russell (it sucked ass) and then went to bed.  Now I’m being lazy, but when Husband wakes up, I’m going to have him move Dog’s cage outside for me so I can mop the kitchen, since I didn’t do it last weekend.

How was your night last night?  My cough is a little better.  I can feel gunk breaking up in my chest, so that’s good, I guess??  I dunno.

amelie: My night was fine. I washed, dried, folded, and put away all my clothes. I even washed the duvet cover. There was nothing on last night, so I actually turned the tv off for a while. I was too lazy to turn on my Wii or put a DVD in.

So, yes, we like Marshall and Lily, but mostly we are Marshall and Lily, in a best-friend, non-married, tell-each-other-everything way.

Don’t worry. We’ll keep the TMI moments to ourselves.

 

October 24, 2010 at 11:14 am 1 comment

Where have we been?

WordPress, I’m sorry. We’ve been unfaithful. amelie and I are having an affair with Tumblr.  We’ll come back to you, I swear, but for now… I think we need a break.

In the mean time, amelie is here: www.lazygirlblogging.tumblr.com,

kegger is here: www.inwhichagirlwrites.tumblr.com,

and our joint efforts (which haven’t been much just yet, since we just got this started on Saturday, and amelie’s Mac has gone to the Apple Spa for the week), are here:  www.thelikelist.tumblr.com.

Come visit us.  Tumblr is seriously addictive. It’s like Twitter, WordPress, and Facebook had an orgy and had babies.

June 28, 2010 at 11:07 am Leave a comment

The healing powers of Sonic’s Tater Tots

Basic Math:

Excedrin + a big, cold, fizzy (Diet) Coke + Sonic tater tots = the best headache remedy ever.

Someone should seriously research this.  I bet Sonic and Coke could market the hell out of it.

Back story: I work with someone who has always SWORN that whenever she gets a headache, she runs to Sonic and grabs some greasy tater tots, and as soon as she’s done eating, her headache’s gone.  I, of course, was a bit skeptical about this.  However, when you have a headache from hell, you’re pretty much willing to try everything short of drilling a hole in your head.   amelie was desperate.  She tried it.  And HOLY MEATBALLS! IT WORKED!  So last Thursday I, too, had a headache from hell, and NOTHING got rid of it.  Not Excedrin.  Not caffeine.  Not prescription pain meds.  NOTHING.  But GREASY FOOD WORKED, OMG!

It either works, or it’s the best placebo in the world.  Either way?  Awesome.

PS: We’re not dead, we’ve been restin’. Pining for the fjords. Hopefully we’ll be back to blogging fairly regularly now.

March 25, 2010 at 11:20 am Leave a comment

It’s official. Our kids are stupid.

This is an actual conversation between the night supervisor at work and a research associate, Brittnay:

Brittnay: I’m gonna leave for an hour to have dinner with family that’s visiting from out of town.  I’ll be back, so can I just leave this call sheet at my cubicle for later?

Supervisor: Yeah ok.  What area are you calling?

Brittnay: What do you mean?

Supervisor: What area of the country are you calling?

Brittnay: Oh.  I don’t know.  They’re nice though!

Supervisor: …you don’t know?

Brittnay: No.  How do I tell?

Supervisor: ...(shocked silence)… Look at the state column on your call sheet.

Brittnay: (long pause as she studies call sheet) it says PA, whatever that means.

Supervisor: …(shocked silence)… Ok.  That means Pennsylvania.

Brittnay: Oh really?  I always wondered what those letters meant.

What’s ESPECIALLY awful is that this chick is 19 years old.  NINETEEN.  I learned my states–and their abbreviations and their capitals and where they were on a map–in freaking SIXTH GRADE!  Sixth grade!  How the heck did she graduate high school if she doesn’t even know what “PA” means under a column titled “State”?  How does she send letters or pay bills?!

I think this is what’s wrong with America today.  Our kids are stupid.

Also, her name is spelled B-R-I-T-T-N-A-Y.  Brittnay.  BRITTNAY.  Not Britney or Brittany, the two most common ways to spell that name, but Brittnay.  You don’t even freaking PRONOUNCE it that way. Ugh.

October 23, 2009 at 12:01 pm 1 comment

From Dixie, with love

I woke up this morning to this lovely little ESPN article.

I’ll give you a little back story.  amelie and I live in Mississippi.  We’re Southern girls.  We went to college at Ole Miss, and we’re very proud of that.  We like our little town, we like being Southern, and no, we’re not racist.  Not even a little bit.

But living in the South has its drawbacks.  People walk on tip toes when it comes to anything related to race.  We don’t want to offend people.  And Ole Miss, particularly, has a bad history when it comes to race relations, so the administration tends to tread even more carefully than everyone else.

Before, during, and after every football game, the Ole Miss Band (“The Pride of the South”) plays From Dixie with Love, which gets all the students pumped up.  A few years ago–I’m not even sure who started it or why–at the every end of the song, drunken college students started chanting, “The South will rise again!”

Okay.  I have mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, I can honestly say that I don’t think ANYONE who yells that is saying in any way that they’d like black people to be slaves again.  I don’t think ANYONE means it that way.  The way I take it is, one day the South isn’t going to be the armpit of the United States.  One day, we’re going to be awesome [amelie: It already is, but it’s a well-kept secret. Shh. Don’t tell.] One day, people will acknowledge that the SEC has the best football teams [amelie: Word].  That the people in the South are really nice and not uneducated rednecks. [amelie: More specifically, uneducated rednecks live everywhere, not just the South.] One day, we’ll have salaries that compare with the rest of the country.  One day, people won’t think of a Southern accent as a bad thing. [amelie: One day, Hollywood will learn that Louisiana accents ARE NOT THE SAME as Mississippi accents, which aren’t the same as Georgia accents, and that Texas is West not South.] One day, the South will be equal to the rest of the United States.

It’s a nice dream, right?  I think so.  Probably won’t happen any time soon (if ever) but there’s nothing wrong with dreaming.

Having said that, I can see why people are offended.  I don’t really care whether people say it or not.  I’m kind of neutral on the whole thing.  Mostly because I’m not very politically correct and I think it’s stupid to TRY to be politically correct, because you’re ALWAYS going to offend someone.  But I can see why people don’t like it, and I can completely understand why people are trying to stop others from saying it.

(But why is replacing “The South will rise again” with “To Hell with LSU!” any better?  Couldn’t that be considered hateful, too? [amelie: Hell fucking no. What kind of Rebel fan are you?!]) [kegger:  I’m just sayin’.  You’re wishing someone to go to hell.  Which, yeah, I know we say that EVERY FREAKING game, but still.  Can’t they both be considered hateful?  Yes.  They can.] [amelie: IT’S ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. Also: WTF–“To Hell with LSU?” Ew. Why not stick with the less-retarded, more action-packed “Go to Hell, LSU?”][kegger: Because apparently it doesn’t fit and flow with the chant.  Even though it has the freaking EXACT same amount of syllables.]

Anyway.  I can understand why the University is trying to stop that chant.  But you’d REALLY think that they’d realize by now that if you ask the students not to do something like that (remember the flag debacle?  Or when they tried to get rid of Colonel Reb?) it’s just going to piss them off and they’re going to do it even more?

A lot of people didn’t even really know about the chant.  You could really only hear it from the student section.  So bringing it to attention (in the student newspaper, and in the Tupelo paper) just made it worse.  Now, once again, we’re in the national news because we’re supposedly racist.  And once again, people think we’re uneducated rednecks.

In reality, it probably would have gone away on it’s own (students had already started a whole grassroots movement thing to replace it with “To hell with LSU”–and it was working) [amelie: GO TO HELL LSU OH MY GOD. I will not chant “To hell with LSU.” GROSS.] if people had just let it go.  Now?  It’s probably here to say just because they pissed people off.

Good job, university officials!  Thanks for bringing it to everyone’s attention and making it worse!

Maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way.  But I’m just so sick of only ever hearing negative things about Ole Miss.  There’s a lot of great things going on there, but you never get to hear about them.  Instead, you only hear about the occasional controversy.

Maybe one day we’ll get away from our past, but either way, we all know that it will be a VERY long time before the South rises again–if we ever do. [amelie: because, let’s face it, in this economy, we’re all poor.  If there are two things America needs right now, it’s sunshine and optimism. Also angels. Or hot guys in leather jackets.]

October 23, 2009 at 11:39 am 4 comments

Is it just us…

…or is this guy/frog/whatever-the-hell very stereotypically gay?

Ya’ll know that amelie and I have a love/hate relationship with Disney.  Disney is awesome, but then they’ll do something that makes my soul die, like making Tod and Copper not friends.  (It’s just not right, dammit!)  But we’ve ranted about that before.

Well, today I stumbled upon a trailer for their newest Disney animated princess movie:

They’re taking it from The Frog Prince story (except they’re calling it The Princess and the Frog–which totally doesn’t sound right, but whatever, Disney.) and Disney has decided that it’s about time we had a black princess, which I’m fine with.  But the instant I saw this trailer, I thought two things:

  1. Dude.  Who cares if the princess is black?  Fairy tale princesses are NOT ghetto.  And this princess is talking like she wants to be ghetto.  Princesses are trained and schooled and refined.
  2. That frog is so stereotypically gay it’s not even funny.  I mean, I know he’s supposed to be her Prince Charming, and they wear tights and capes and other clothes that would make Liberace jealous, but Prince Frog is trying too hard to play it straight. He probably stays in his castle dancing to Judy Garland records with his “best friend” Michigan J. Frog.

This movie seems doomed from the start.  A ghetto princess, a gay prince, and as amelie brought up to me, you KNOW people are going to bitch about them being an interracial couple.  (Even though, dude, he’s gay.  They’d totally be BFFs, not boyfriend/girlfriend.)  And in response to the interracial couple thing, we present you with  exhibit A:  Beauty and the Beast, and exhibit B:  The Little Mermaid.  What’s worse?  Beastiality or interracial dating?

But still.  That frog is totally gay.

Edit: After we wrote this, amelie said this in an e-mail.  I freaking love it: You know what I realized, editing that post? This is the worst Disney movie ever. It’s got homosexuality, beastiality, and an interracial couple. Now I kind of want to see it.

Edit again in amelie’s defense because she didn’t think anyone but kegger was going to read that: Not that there’s anything wrong with homosexuality or interracial couples. (You’re on your own, chicken lovers). It’s just all three in one movie…it’s a lot. Bold move, Disney.

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June 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm Leave a comment

It’s called “sex” not “making love”

Once again, amelie and I have found yet another random thing that we have in common. Last night I was watching Doogie Howser with Puddle. Don’t judge–Niel Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother gave Puddle and me the itch to watch it. [amelie: NPH gives me the itch to…um. What?] During the first episode, someone says something about “making love.” amelie and I were e-mailing back and forth (as usual), and I couldn’t help but bring up how much I HATE that phrase. I can’t even tell you why I hate that phrase. I just do. It makes me cringe for some reason every time I hear it. It just seems so awkward and fake and… ick. And of course, since we’re, like, the exact same freakin’ person, she comes back with, OMG, I HATE THAT PHRASE, TOO! [amelie: Technically, I said, “OMG That Term is one of my least favorite phrases EVER!] [kegger: Yeah, yeah. Details, details.]

[Side note: From now on, we will be referring to That Term as “shitting on turtles.”]

I mean, seriously. What the hell does shitting on turtles mean, anyway? How exactly do you shit on turtles? How does that work? The whole phrase makes no sense. In this day and age, half the people who shit on turtles aren’t even in love with each other, they’re just random sex buddies or one night stands. [Side note the second: neither amelie nor I have random sex buddies or one night stands. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; we just don’t roll that way. Unless it’s one of both of one of Two Certain Someones Who Are Too Hot To Live then we might consider it. Because they’re effing hot.] [amelie: Mmhmm.] [kegger: For those of you who are crazy curious, you remember that AWESOME picture that amelie shared with me that we didn’t share? One of the guys is him. And… wow. Just wow.] [amelie: it’s the gift that keeps on giving. You’re welcome.] Since you aren’t in love with the person, you shouldn’t really be able to consider sex with said person to be shitting on turtles.

It’s sex. Plain and simple. It’s just sex. It’s not shitting on turtles. Why do people have so much trouble saying the word “sex”? Why do they have to make it sound all flowery and romantic by calling it shitting on turtles? I don’t get it. Is it one of those words people hate saying, like “penis” or “vagina”? [Side note part the third: I don’t really like the word “vagina.” It just sounds icky to me. Penis, I can handle. But, as you can see, I’m still typing it, instead of calling it something flowery, like “lady parts” or “girly bits” or some other ridiculous phrase.] [amelie: I don’t have a problem with either word. They way I see it, if a kindergartner can say it, so can I.][kegger: I don’t think I knew that word in kindergarten. What teacher did YOU have?!? We called them “tootoo’s” and “peepee’s”. Yes, I know. Cheesy.][amelie: *rolls eyes* I didn’t say I said “penis” or “vagina” in kindergarten. Did you even click on the link? I bet you didn’t. I don’t insert links for my own amusement. Well, okay, I do, but they are informational.][kegger: I’ll get to the link eventually.  I’m a procrastinator, remember?!]

And who talks like that, anyway? If Puddle ever said, “Let’s shit on turtles” to me, I would bust out laughing. I just wouldn’t be able to take it seriously. We just don’t talk like that. It’s weird. Likewise, I would never be able to say, “shit on turtles with me!” and keep a straight face. It’s just too damn cheesy.

I mean… seriously… who says that? Besides the actors on TV.

mostly with a sprinkle of

June 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm 1 comment

Horsing around!

After watching the Kentucky Derby (for like, the first time EVER), I noticed that all of those horses have pretty ridiculous names.  I mean, seriously.  “Mine That Bird”?  What kind of name is that?*

So I started thinking, what would I name my horse if it was in the Kentucky Derby?  It obviously has to be a stupid name, judging by all of the other Derby horse’s names.  So amelie and I, being the procrastinators that we are, decided to come up with Derby horse names instead of working!  And here’s our list:

Turd Baby

I Eat Babies

Shut Your Cakehole

Farts A Lot

Homestretch

You’re a Loser

Sperm For Sale (for the studs)

I’m For Sale (for the mares)

Knock Me Up

Suck It Losers

Eat My Dust

Easy Rider

Ball Buster

*Just so you know, we aren’t making fun of horses, horse racing, or jockeys or horse owners. All we are saying is that some of the names are silly–like dog show dogs and their own brand of silly names. We’re sure there’s a reason for having long, goofy names. If anyone allowed kegger and me name horses, those names would be dirty and goofy.

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May 5, 2009 at 12:34 pm 2 comments

Weekly Wrap-Up

Fucking finally, right?

What we loved:
Television
Chuck:

amelie: CHUCK. A million, trillion, billionty times, I love Chuck. But more important than my love of Chuck is the fact that Casey loves Chuck (we already knew that Sarah loves Chuck. That’s not news.) He still hates being Team Chuck’s little fat kid, and I think that’s adorable. I want a Casey in my life. I have a feeling he’d kill spiders for me in a second.

kegger: CHUCK CHUCK CHUCK CHUCK!  I’m going to be so pissed if this show is cancelled.  And I flipping LOVE Casey and Awesome.  And Chuck.  And Sarah.  And hell.  Everyone else, too.  I could go on for about 15 minutes about Chuck, but I’m going to stop now. (Ahem.  If you haven’t seen Chuck yet, you should totally click on one of the bazillion hyperlinks I added and watch a few dozen episodes.)

The Office:
amelie:
Oh, The Office, how I’ve missed you. I haven’t really been feeling the love this season, but last night was brilliant: the return of awesome, competent Jim; Charles getting schooled in the ways of Dwight; the “idiot” ringtone; Ryan not being a total douchebag asshole…I could go on. But I won’t.

kegger: I loved Jim in this episode.  And yay, Charles is gone!  Finally!  I think.  And so awesome that instead of taking the $60,000, Michael got all of their jobs back.  And I hope Ryan keeps his “totally natural” blonde hair for a while, because every time I see it, it makes me giggle. Although I do have to say, I STILL don’t buy Angela crushing on Charles. I just don’t see it.

Party Down:

kegger: Okay, so I admit that I haven’t seen this week’s episode of Party Down yet, but I don’t care.  I flipping love this show, and if you don’t have Starz, you should totally watch it on Netflix.  The pilot ep was just okay.  After that, the show turned into all kinds of awesome.

amelie: I’m a week or so behind on Party Down, but I have loved every episode I’ve seen so far. Why aren’t you watching it?

Music

kegger: Missy Higgins–Okay, so the CD isn’t exactly new, but I just kind of discovered it on my iPod this week, and it’s mellow and great.  My two favorite songs are “Forgive Me” and “Warm Whispers.”

amelie: The Lonely Island–I’ve had Incredibad for a couple of weeks, and I still love it. It’s dirty and funny and ridiculous. My new favorite thing is to drive with the windows down and blast “I’m On a Boat” as loud as I can take it.

kegger: I’m on a boat, mothafucka!

amelie: Don’t you ever forget!

Books

kegger: I’m in a YA phase right now for some reason.  Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is definitely worth a read.  Based on the description on the inside flap, I was just, meh.  But then I read it and loved it.  I’m looking forward to the sequel.

amelie: I’m not reading anything worth talking about, so moving on.

What we hated:

Television:

amelie: NBC is On Notice for even considering canceling Chuck. I’m still so pissed at ABC for the Pushing Daisies fiasco that I refuse to watch Castle (or maybe I just forget that it’s on because my Mondays are already stacked with awesome shows. I’ll never tell.) Consider this a pre-empitive hate, which I am more than willing to turn into a love if NBC nuts up and does the right thing.

Movies:

kegger:House“–Whatever you do, don’t rent this.  It’s awful.  It’s horrible.  It can’t decide what it wants to be.  Does it want to be all creepy, or mystery-like, or ghosty, or WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???!!!!  I mean… seriously.  Don’t watch it.  I was actually paying attention, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  I was all like, “Huh?  Why is chick like, drowning under a slab of ice in a closet?!?” and stuff.  Not to mention, you really shouldn’t name your movie House when there’s already a popular show named House.  AND, can I just say that movies really need to work on getting the South right?  The architecture for that house was so off.  And so were their accents.  Just because we’re from the South doesn’t mean we’re creepy inbred rednecks, y’all.  And if we WERE creepy inbred rednecks, we’d be living in trailer parks.  Not in mansions.  Maybe you should actually, I don’t know, VISIT Montgomery, Alabama and see what it’s actually like there before you start making movies about it.

amelie: Creepy Inbred Rednecks is so the name of my imaginary band. I wasn’t even aware this was a movie until you started griping about how much it sucks. No movies to hate on this week for me. Ooh–can I hate on the 30 seconds of “Twilight” you made me watch? Because I really hated it.

kegger: You can count the 30 seconds of “Twilight” that I made you watch.  They really were the worst 30 seconds of the entire show.  He was supposed to look like he wanted to EAT her (dirty!) when he first smelled her.  Not like he wanted to vomit.

amelie: Heh. Eat her.

Pee Ess: I have edited this stupid thing forty bajillion times, and the size is still all wonky. I call shenanigans. Sorry.

&  

April 24, 2009 at 2:47 pm 1 comment

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