We’re Marshall and Lily

The other day, amelie realized that we’re just like Marshall and Lily. Specifically the part of their relationship where they tell each other everything:

Ted: Trust me, not only do they tell each other everything, they want to know everything!

Flashback
Marshall: So after the shower I was brushing my teeth and I was like, oh man I wanted to have some orange juice I should’ve done that first! But I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush so I just went ahead a brushed them anyway.

Lily: What happened next?!

That is totally us:

kegger: I didn’t get done with work until 5:30.  Ugh.  Not fun for a Friday. Oh well.  Then I went to Friend’s to check on the animals.  They’re good.  Got home at 6:00, got some H2O (I was right, the soup was wonderful on my throat) and then watched that latest Robin Hood movie with Kurt Russell (it sucked ass) and then went to bed.  Now I’m being lazy, but when Husband wakes up, I’m going to have him move Dog’s cage outside for me so I can mop the kitchen, since I didn’t do it last weekend.

How was your night last night?  My cough is a little better.  I can feel gunk breaking up in my chest, so that’s good, I guess??  I dunno.

amelie: My night was fine. I washed, dried, folded, and put away all my clothes. I even washed the duvet cover. There was nothing on last night, so I actually turned the tv off for a while. I was too lazy to turn on my Wii or put a DVD in.

So, yes, we like Marshall and Lily, but mostly we are Marshall and Lily, in a best-friend, non-married, tell-each-other-everything way.

Don’t worry. We’ll keep the TMI moments to ourselves.

 

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October 24, 2010 at 11:14 am 1 comment

Where have we been?

WordPress, I’m sorry. We’ve been unfaithful. amelie and I are having an affair with Tumblr.  We’ll come back to you, I swear, but for now… I think we need a break.

In the mean time, amelie is here: www.lazygirlblogging.tumblr.com,

kegger is here: www.inwhichagirlwrites.tumblr.com,

and our joint efforts (which haven’t been much just yet, since we just got this started on Saturday, and amelie’s Mac has gone to the Apple Spa for the week), are here:  www.thelikelist.tumblr.com.

Come visit us.  Tumblr is seriously addictive. It’s like Twitter, WordPress, and Facebook had an orgy and had babies.

June 28, 2010 at 11:07 am Leave a comment

Stay classy, Mississippi

Or “Go fuck yourself, Itawamba County”

We don’t usually get too deep in this blog. We like what we like–tv, movies, books, and music–and neither of us are experts on, well, anything. But this really angers me. kegger and I are from Mississippi. We are die-hard Southern girls who love being Southern. We love the food; we love the people; we love the atmosphere–most of the time. Right now, I have to say that I’m embarrassed to call this state my home. I’m saddened and angered at the adults in Itawamba County who think it’s okay for their children to discriminate against anyone who is different. I’m furious at the parents, teachers, and administrators who thought setting up a fake prom would take care of the problem. This is not the lesson we should be teaching our kids. “You don’t like someone because of a superficial difference? That’s fine. Just set up a fake (insert function here) and don’t tell the people  you don’t like. They’ll never know! It’s a win-win situation. You don’t have to hang out with the seedy underbelly of American society, and they feel like they were included!”

No. No, no, a thousand times no.

I don’t care what you think of homosexuality. I don’t care, and I don’t want to know. This is not that blog post. Whatever you think of gays and lesbians–of black people or Mexicans, of Muslims or Christians, of Democrats or Republicans–it is never okay to discriminate against someone because of his or her differences. I am disappointed in those leaders in Itawamba who, through their lack of courage, fear of the unknown, self-righteous indignation and lack of caring, showed those high schoolers that distancing themselves from people who are different–who hold different beliefs, worship different gods, wear different clothes, speak a different language, or love different people–is acceptable. It isn’t. We can’t grow as individuals and as a society if we keep to ourselves. We’ll never learn tolerance or love if we hide from others or force them to hide from us.

I love you, Mississippi. I do. You are a crazy place full of fist-sized mosquitoes, sweltering summers, and right now more pollen than I’ve ever seen in my life. But if you keep this shit up, if you keep showing the world that we are nothing but self-centered, backwards, close-minded, arrogant assholes, we’re going to have to see other people. I hear Canada’s nice this time of year.

I hope you’re proud of yourself, people in Itawamba County. Right now, I don’t even want to call Mississippi my home.

April 7, 2010 at 11:09 am 1 comment

Let us tell you how we really feel

&  

April 1, 2010 at 8:07 am Leave a comment

The healing powers of Sonic’s Tater Tots

Basic Math:

Excedrin + a big, cold, fizzy (Diet) Coke + Sonic tater tots = the best headache remedy ever.

Someone should seriously research this.  I bet Sonic and Coke could market the hell out of it.

Back story: I work with someone who has always SWORN that whenever she gets a headache, she runs to Sonic and grabs some greasy tater tots, and as soon as she’s done eating, her headache’s gone.  I, of course, was a bit skeptical about this.  However, when you have a headache from hell, you’re pretty much willing to try everything short of drilling a hole in your head.   amelie was desperate.  She tried it.  And HOLY MEATBALLS! IT WORKED!  So last Thursday I, too, had a headache from hell, and NOTHING got rid of it.  Not Excedrin.  Not caffeine.  Not prescription pain meds.  NOTHING.  But GREASY FOOD WORKED, OMG!

It either works, or it’s the best placebo in the world.  Either way?  Awesome.

PS: We’re not dead, we’ve been restin’. Pining for the fjords. Hopefully we’ll be back to blogging fairly regularly now.

March 25, 2010 at 11:20 am Leave a comment

Who Said That? All things Glee

So, there’s this show called Glee, and it has eaten my brain. I thought we could play a quick Glee edition of Who Said That. Since you already know the show, I want who said each quote and what episode it’s in. Remember the rules, and NO CHEATING.

1. Who’s Josh Groban? Kill yourself! He is an angel sent down to release platinum records unto us. And if he were here right now, I would club you to death with his Critics’ Choice Award.

2. Boy, the only thing missing from this place is a couple dozen bodies limed and rotting in shallow graves under the floorboards.

3. We’re planning on smacking them down like the hand of God.

4. Are you guys really that stupid? I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were really roommates.

5. Not everyone’s going to have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance, but I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage. That’s why I pay taxes–it keeps garbage men earning a living…So they can afford tacos. For their family.

6. Kurt was drunk and he ralphed on me. Not really fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a fake I.D. because he looks like an eleven-year-old milkmaid.

7. You’re fired! And I’m taller than you.

8. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I’ve sacrificed everything, only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens.

9. I don’t think any one decision makes your life…unless you accidentally invent some kind of zombie virus or something.

10. My father always said you become a man when you buy your first house. I’m not sure what he meant by that, since he burned ours down once after a drunken fight with Mom.

11. Bye, white people.

12. Are you an Eve who was born a Steve? Because if you are, I think there’s a special school that would better address your needs. And I think that school’s in Thailand.

13. This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep.

14. Do you want to captain the Titanic too?

15. When I woke up, I knew it was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew and the Good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.

October 23, 2009 at 1:10 pm 10 comments

It’s official. Our kids are stupid.

This is an actual conversation between the night supervisor at work and a research associate, Brittnay:

Brittnay: I’m gonna leave for an hour to have dinner with family that’s visiting from out of town.  I’ll be back, so can I just leave this call sheet at my cubicle for later?

Supervisor: Yeah ok.  What area are you calling?

Brittnay: What do you mean?

Supervisor: What area of the country are you calling?

Brittnay: Oh.  I don’t know.  They’re nice though!

Supervisor: …you don’t know?

Brittnay: No.  How do I tell?

Supervisor: ...(shocked silence)… Look at the state column on your call sheet.

Brittnay: (long pause as she studies call sheet) it says PA, whatever that means.

Supervisor: …(shocked silence)… Ok.  That means Pennsylvania.

Brittnay: Oh really?  I always wondered what those letters meant.

What’s ESPECIALLY awful is that this chick is 19 years old.  NINETEEN.  I learned my states–and their abbreviations and their capitals and where they were on a map–in freaking SIXTH GRADE!  Sixth grade!  How the heck did she graduate high school if she doesn’t even know what “PA” means under a column titled “State”?  How does she send letters or pay bills?!

I think this is what’s wrong with America today.  Our kids are stupid.

Also, her name is spelled B-R-I-T-T-N-A-Y.  Brittnay.  BRITTNAY.  Not Britney or Brittany, the two most common ways to spell that name, but Brittnay.  You don’t even freaking PRONOUNCE it that way. Ugh.

October 23, 2009 at 12:01 pm 1 comment

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