Archive for June 4, 2009

It’s called “sex” not “making love”

Once again, amelie and I have found yet another random thing that we have in common. Last night I was watching Doogie Howser with Puddle. Don’t judge–Niel Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother gave Puddle and me the itch to watch it. [amelie: NPH gives me the itch to…um. What?] During the first episode, someone says something about “making love.” amelie and I were e-mailing back and forth (as usual), and I couldn’t help but bring up how much I HATE that phrase. I can’t even tell you why I hate that phrase. I just do. It makes me cringe for some reason every time I hear it. It just seems so awkward and fake and… ick. And of course, since we’re, like, the exact same freakin’ person, she comes back with, OMG, I HATE THAT PHRASE, TOO! [amelie: Technically, I said, “OMG That Term is one of my least favorite phrases EVER!] [kegger: Yeah, yeah. Details, details.]

[Side note: From now on, we will be referring to That Term as “shitting on turtles.”]

I mean, seriously. What the hell does shitting on turtles mean, anyway? How exactly do you shit on turtles? How does that work? The whole phrase makes no sense. In this day and age, half the people who shit on turtles aren’t even in love with each other, they’re just random sex buddies or one night stands. [Side note the second: neither amelie nor I have random sex buddies or one night stands. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; we just don’t roll that way. Unless it’s one of both of one of Two Certain Someones Who Are Too Hot To Live then we might consider it. Because they’re effing hot.] [amelie: Mmhmm.] [kegger: For those of you who are crazy curious, you remember that AWESOME picture that amelie shared with me that we didn’t share? One of the guys is him. And… wow. Just wow.] [amelie: it’s the gift that keeps on giving. You’re welcome.] Since you aren’t in love with the person, you shouldn’t really be able to consider sex with said person to be shitting on turtles.

It’s sex. Plain and simple. It’s just sex. It’s not shitting on turtles. Why do people have so much trouble saying the word “sex”? Why do they have to make it sound all flowery and romantic by calling it shitting on turtles? I don’t get it. Is it one of those words people hate saying, like “penis” or “vagina”? [Side note part the third: I don’t really like the word “vagina.” It just sounds icky to me. Penis, I can handle. But, as you can see, I’m still typing it, instead of calling it something flowery, like “lady parts” or “girly bits” or some other ridiculous phrase.] [amelie: I don’t have a problem with either word. They way I see it, if a kindergartner can say it, so can I.][kegger: I don’t think I knew that word in kindergarten. What teacher did YOU have?!? We called them “tootoo’s” and “peepee’s”. Yes, I know. Cheesy.][amelie: *rolls eyes* I didn’t say I said “penis” or “vagina” in kindergarten. Did you even click on the link? I bet you didn’t. I don’t insert links for my own amusement. Well, okay, I do, but they are informational.][kegger: I’ll get to the link eventually.  I’m a procrastinator, remember?!]

And who talks like that, anyway? If Puddle ever said, “Let’s shit on turtles” to me, I would bust out laughing. I just wouldn’t be able to take it seriously. We just don’t talk like that. It’s weird. Likewise, I would never be able to say, “shit on turtles with me!” and keep a straight face. It’s just too damn cheesy.

I mean… seriously… who says that? Besides the actors on TV.

mostly with a sprinkle of

June 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm 1 comment


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