Archive for June, 2009

Is it just us…

…or is this guy/frog/whatever-the-hell very stereotypically gay?

Ya’ll know that amelie and I have a love/hate relationship with Disney.  Disney is awesome, but then they’ll do something that makes my soul die, like making Tod and Copper not friends.  (It’s just not right, dammit!)  But we’ve ranted about that before.

Well, today I stumbled upon a trailer for their newest Disney animated princess movie:

They’re taking it from The Frog Prince story (except they’re calling it The Princess and the Frog–which totally doesn’t sound right, but whatever, Disney.) and Disney has decided that it’s about time we had a black princess, which I’m fine with.  But the instant I saw this trailer, I thought two things:

  1. Dude.  Who cares if the princess is black?  Fairy tale princesses are NOT ghetto.  And this princess is talking like she wants to be ghetto.  Princesses are trained and schooled and refined.
  2. That frog is so stereotypically gay it’s not even funny.  I mean, I know he’s supposed to be her Prince Charming, and they wear tights and capes and other clothes that would make Liberace jealous, but Prince Frog is trying too hard to play it straight. He probably stays in his castle dancing to Judy Garland records with his “best friend” Michigan J. Frog.

This movie seems doomed from the start.  A ghetto princess, a gay prince, and as amelie brought up to me, you KNOW people are going to bitch about them being an interracial couple.  (Even though, dude, he’s gay.  They’d totally be BFFs, not boyfriend/girlfriend.)  And in response to the interracial couple thing, we present you with  exhibit A:  Beauty and the Beast, and exhibit B:  The Little Mermaid.  What’s worse?  Beastiality or interracial dating?

But still.  That frog is totally gay.

Edit: After we wrote this, amelie said this in an e-mail.  I freaking love it: You know what I realized, editing that post? This is the worst Disney movie ever. It’s got homosexuality, beastiality, and an interracial couple. Now I kind of want to see it.

Edit again in amelie’s defense because she didn’t think anyone but kegger was going to read that: Not that there’s anything wrong with homosexuality or interracial couples. (You’re on your own, chicken lovers). It’s just all three in one movie…it’s a lot. Bold move, Disney.

&  

June 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm Leave a comment

It’s called “sex” not “making love”

Once again, amelie and I have found yet another random thing that we have in common. Last night I was watching Doogie Howser with Puddle. Don’t judge–Niel Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother gave Puddle and me the itch to watch it. [amelie: NPH gives me the itch to…um. What?] During the first episode, someone says something about “making love.” amelie and I were e-mailing back and forth (as usual), and I couldn’t help but bring up how much I HATE that phrase. I can’t even tell you why I hate that phrase. I just do. It makes me cringe for some reason every time I hear it. It just seems so awkward and fake and… ick. And of course, since we’re, like, the exact same freakin’ person, she comes back with, OMG, I HATE THAT PHRASE, TOO! [amelie: Technically, I said, “OMG That Term is one of my least favorite phrases EVER!] [kegger: Yeah, yeah. Details, details.]

[Side note: From now on, we will be referring to That Term as “shitting on turtles.”]

I mean, seriously. What the hell does shitting on turtles mean, anyway? How exactly do you shit on turtles? How does that work? The whole phrase makes no sense. In this day and age, half the people who shit on turtles aren’t even in love with each other, they’re just random sex buddies or one night stands. [Side note the second: neither amelie nor I have random sex buddies or one night stands. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; we just don’t roll that way. Unless it’s one of both of one of Two Certain Someones Who Are Too Hot To Live then we might consider it. Because they’re effing hot.] [amelie: Mmhmm.] [kegger: For those of you who are crazy curious, you remember that AWESOME picture that amelie shared with me that we didn’t share? One of the guys is him. And… wow. Just wow.] [amelie: it’s the gift that keeps on giving. You’re welcome.] Since you aren’t in love with the person, you shouldn’t really be able to consider sex with said person to be shitting on turtles.

It’s sex. Plain and simple. It’s just sex. It’s not shitting on turtles. Why do people have so much trouble saying the word “sex”? Why do they have to make it sound all flowery and romantic by calling it shitting on turtles? I don’t get it. Is it one of those words people hate saying, like “penis” or “vagina”? [Side note part the third: I don’t really like the word “vagina.” It just sounds icky to me. Penis, I can handle. But, as you can see, I’m still typing it, instead of calling it something flowery, like “lady parts” or “girly bits” or some other ridiculous phrase.] [amelie: I don’t have a problem with either word. They way I see it, if a kindergartner can say it, so can I.][kegger: I don’t think I knew that word in kindergarten. What teacher did YOU have?!? We called them “tootoo’s” and “peepee’s”. Yes, I know. Cheesy.][amelie: *rolls eyes* I didn’t say I said “penis” or “vagina” in kindergarten. Did you even click on the link? I bet you didn’t. I don’t insert links for my own amusement. Well, okay, I do, but they are informational.][kegger: I’ll get to the link eventually.  I’m a procrastinator, remember?!]

And who talks like that, anyway? If Puddle ever said, “Let’s shit on turtles” to me, I would bust out laughing. I just wouldn’t be able to take it seriously. We just don’t talk like that. It’s weird. Likewise, I would never be able to say, “shit on turtles with me!” and keep a straight face. It’s just too damn cheesy.

I mean… seriously… who says that? Besides the actors on TV.

mostly with a sprinkle of

June 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm 1 comment

Let Us Direct Your Attention

To this little bit of insanity. Look, we don’t watch One Tree Hill, which we’re sure has many wonderful, entertaining moments. But this? Is probably not one of those moments.

Heart transplants: Not funny
Klutzy couriers carrying a cooler with a heart transplant and faceplanting onto the hospital floor: a little funny
Heart projectiling out of the cooler and skidding across the floor: even funnier, but only because it’s a fake heart on a fictional tv show and no real hearts were damaged during filming.
Random dog in a hospital waiting room: WTF? No, really. WTF is a dog doing in a hospital waiting room? Dudes, we live in Mississippi and even here they don’t allow dogs in hospital waiting rooms.
Random dog EATING THE FAKE HEART and NO ONE DOES ANYTHING TO STOP HIM: HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! HAHAHAHAHA! oh, what the hell. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Play.

Yep. Never gets old.

June 2, 2009 at 10:02 am Leave a comment

Finale Wrap-Up part 2

Epic fail. EPIC FAIL. How long has this post been sitting on my computer and I’ve been to damn lazy to post it? I suck. Anyway. On to part 2.

Oh, and we were going to add Bones to the wrap-up, but neither kegger nor I watch that show (I catch the reruns on TNT every now and then), and our back-up blogger is MIA with bar review. (PSST–brooklyn, how’s it going?). And I swear there was another show in here, but fuck if I remember what it was.

How I Met Your Mother
Break-Ups: Robin and Barney
Make-Ups: Robin and Barney
Break-Ups: Robin and Barney
Make-Ups: Robin and Barney
Shake-Ups: Robin finds out Barney is in love with her and tries to Mosby him (telling him she’s in love with him like Ted did to her in the pilot, thus killing any feelings Barney may have) multiple times, only it doesn’t really work, and it turns out that she might have real feelings for him. Marshall finally takes the leap and jumps to the neighbor’s tricked-out roof and doesn’t die. Everyone else takes the leap, too. Oh, and Ted gets his ass kicked by Missy Mr. Goat in an awesome “Murder Train” montage.
Tumor Count: None, although Ted did have a goat-hoof-print on his forehead for a while, which is funnier than it should be.
Possible Spin-Off: Missy the Goat Kicks Your Ass. Does what it says on the tin–Missy the Goat sneaks into your house and kicks your ass.

Supernatural, Lucifer Rising

Break-Ups: Sam and Dean, briefly. Dean and Castiel, briefly. Sam and Ruby, permanently motherfuckers, HELL YEAH.

Make-Ups: Sam and Dean, possibly, although I’m still not convinced they’re back to their normal levels of brothers-who-sort-of-like-each-other-ness, yet. Dean and Castiel (renegade angel, oh my stars!)

Shake-Ups: Sam kills Lilith, whose death was the final seal. Dumbass. Lucifer is set free. Ruby has been playing Sam’s dumbass the entire time, but Dean, with a little help from broken puppy dumbass Sammy, kills her deader than any dead thing that ever died, and much rejoicing was heard across the internet.

Tumor Count: Does Ruby count? Because I think she infected my tv with some sort of demonic virus. Bitch.

Possible Spin-Offs: Propheteering, in which the prophet Chuck and the angel Castiel use Chuck’s knowledge of the future to avert the apocalypse and save people from horrible deaths, all financed by Chuck’s incredible lottery luck. Operates in the same universe as Supernatural, so cross-over episodes are easily produced and highly encouraged. Watch Ruby Die, in wich Sam and Dean kill Ruby over and over and over and over again.

June 1, 2009 at 6:23 pm Leave a comment


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