Finale Wrap-Up Part 1

May 16, 2009 at 2:36 pm 2 comments

It’s finale season again, and we same-brained girls thought we’d hook y’all up with a cheat sheet of different shows and how they ended. Some shows we watch and love, some shows we watch and merely tolerate, and some shows we don’t watch at all. But we are dedicated professionals here to give you the skinny. Look for Part 2 after Monday’s How I Met Your Mother finale.

The Office, Company Picnic

Break-Ups: Dunder-Mifflin and the Buffalo branch via an awkward Slumdunder Mifflinaire skit performed by Michael and Holly.

Make-Ups: Holly and Michael, friends forever. But maybe more. Many, many years down the road. Jim and Dwight‘s frenemy relationship was a little more on the friend side of the spectrum, which is always nice to see. Also looks like there could be a Dwight and Angela reconciliation next season.

Shake-Ups: Stanley actually has a good time at a work-related event that doesn’t involve free pretzels. And, oh yeah. Could Pam be pregnant?! What else would put those happy tears in Jim‘s eyes?

Tumor count: none that we know of.

Possible Spin-off: Holly and Michael’s Movie Hour, in which Holly Flax and Michael Scott reinact recent blockbuster movies. Star Trek, anyone?

—-

Chuck, Chuck vs. the Ring

Break-Ups: Chuck and the spy world, briefly. Bryce and life permanently (as far as we can tell. He did come back from the dead once before). Chuck and Ellie, briefly (and not like that gutter-brains. A girl’s got a right to be mad at her brother when his secret spy life destroys her wedding plans, even if Jeffster’s impromptu Mr. Roboto performance was a glorious sight.)

Make-Ups: Chuck and Ellie, because that gorgeous beach wedding was the perfect I’m-sorry-I-screwed-up-your-other-wedding gift. Chuck and the Intersect 2.0 (3.0? How many Intersects are there?). Boy’s got kung-fu skills, y’all! Kick ass.

Shake-Ups: Chuck downloads the newest Intersect. Not only does Chuck have all those sketchy government secrets bouncing around in his skull, he’s now got special abilities. Stephen Bartowski, Chuck and Ellie’s father, has an Intersect in his brain, too.

Tumor count: none, but Daddy B went all pale and shaky after his Intersect flash. Things don’t look stellar for him, health-wise.

Possible Spin-Off: Major Casey’s Major Weddings, in which Casey, with the help of his team of special-op military men, plans the big day for lucky couples.

—–

Grey’s Anatomy
Break-Ups:  George and Seattle Grace, briefly, as George enlists to be an Army doctor. George and life, possibly permanently, as he promptly gets run over by a bus and causes a situation that’s suspiciously similar to an ER episode. Izzie and her tumor, permanently. Izzie and life, possibly permanently.

Make-Ups:  George and Seattle Grace.  I mean, he got hit by a bus, y’all.  Where else was he gonna go?

Shake-Ups:  Izzie loses a tumor, but gains a short-term memory problem (that’s suspiciously a lot like 50 First Dates).  She and George might be dead.  Right now, they’re just hanging out together in an elevator. Meredith and Derek get married via Post-It notes. I know this isn’t covered in med school, but Post-It note marriages aren’t recognized in the state of…well, any state in the Union.

Tumor Count:  One.  That is, until Derek slices it out.  And yes, he got all of it.  Buh-bye ghost-sex-enducing tumor.  We’ll miss you.  Er, well, actually, we’ll just miss Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Possible Spin-Offs: If Wishes Were Tumors, in which Izzie’s ghost-sex causing brain tumor eats the brains of the most annoying characters on other tv shows. We Stole This From ER, in which writers of various dramas watch endless hours of ER, rip off different plots and rework them.

—-

Dollhouse, Omega
Break-Ups: Ballard and Mellie, who is actually November who is actually Madeleine. Caroline and life, briefly. Ballard and the FBI, possibly permanently.

Make-Ups:  Ballard and the Dollhouse, as Ballard becomes a consultant or some shit to help Adele and co. find Alpha.

Shake-Ups:  Claire is a doll! CLAIRE IS A DOLL!  Why the eff couldn’t they have spent more time on this story? Alan Tudyk’s ripped bod. Sweet baby Jesus. I didn’t know Wash had it in him.

Tumor Count: None yet, but we’re banking that all that mucking around in people’s brains can’t be good long-term

Possible Spin-Off:  Scientifically Programmed Killers, in which Alpha and Echo decide they like their Mickey and Mallory alter egos and go on a twisted killing/love-making spree.

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Weekly Wrap-up Finale Wrap-Up part 2

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