What we hate: Disney Edition

March 25, 2009 at 12:35 pm 4 comments

Y’all know kegger and I are virtually the same person. We watch the same TV, read the same books, listen to the same music. Liking the same things also means hating the same things. And here’s one thing we both hate: The Fox and the Hound.

amelie: This is the first movie that ever made me mad that I watched it. I was furious. I remember thinking, “That’s it? THAT’S how it ends? ARE YOU KIDDING ME, DISNEY?!” I mean, I loved the beginning. I loved Tod and Copper being cute and having fun and just being friends. And then. And then they grew up. They grew up and life sucked. Like real life. Hey, where’s my happy Disney ending, huh? I don’t watch Disney movies to be depressed or to learn about real life through fables and talking animals. I watch them for the hidden innuendos the FREAKING HAPPY ENDINGS. Tod and Copper are supposed to stay friends. They’re not supposed to hunt each other and hurt each other and almost die because of a freaking bear, gosh. So, what’s the lesson, Disney? That you can’t overcome your differences and be friends with people (or species) who believe different things and lead different lives? Awesome message, Disney. Just fantastic.

It was bad enough watching Bambi’s mother get killed. Now I get to live with the disappointment and disillusionment that a fox and a hound can’t be BFFs.

And that’s probably the most ridiculous sentence I’ve ever written.

kegger: You forgot when they freaking killed Mufasa.  I’ve decided that Disney secretly likes to torture us. I mean, think about it. They killed Bambi’s mom. They killed Simba’s dad. They turned poor, sweet little Tod and Copper into enemies. AND, in addition to making us cry and pissing us off, they also sneak in pervy little things into their movies. Like priests having woodies, Aladdin telling us to take off our clothes, and leaves spelling out “sex” as they blow away in the breeze. Disney is supposed to be wholesome and feel-good. I’m supposed to have the warm fuzzies when I get done watching a Disney movie. Right? But NO. Instead, I get parents getting killed, sweet little animals hating each other, and priests having woodies. I can tolerate Bambi and The Lion King. But The Fox and the Hound freaking pisses me off. Mermaids obviously don’t exist. Animals don’t speak. There aren’t really faeries that sprinkle sleeping dust on people while the princess is asleep. So WHY the hell did they have to make The Fox and the Hound turn into enemies??! I’m sure that’s what would happen in real life, but this movie isn’t REAL LIFE!  It’s a freaking Disney movie! Disney movies aren’t supposed to be realistic! So yeah. Definitely boycotting The effing Fox and the effing Hound.

amelie: The subliminal pervy stuff is kind of funny. That priest with a boner at Ariel’s wedding? Hi-freaking-larious. And I think it was Genie who said take off your clothes (although I don’t think that one is true. I certainly never heard it.) Bambi breaks my heart, but at least he and Thumper and Flower didn’t hate each other when they grew up. And come on, Flower is a freaking skunk. If anyone is going to get hated on, it’s Flower. The Fox and the Hound: crushing children’s dreams since 1981.

kegger: I LOVE the pervy stuff. Because on the inside, I’m still only twelve-years-old. That’s why I still watch Disney movies! But still. It’s a Disney movie. They aren’t supposed to have woodies in Disney movies! And yeah, Genie (or Aladdin, whatever. I THINK it’s Aladdin, but I can’t remember) TOTALLY says, “Good kids take off their clothes.”  I’ve heard it. Disney, of course, claims that he’s saying, “Good kitty, get up and go!”  But no. He totally doesn’t say that. And why would he whisper it if that’s what he was really saying? I don’t think so. This, by the way, totally makes me want to have a Disney movie day. So we can see/hear all of the Disney pervy moments.

And I’m in complete agreement.  If any Disney character were to lose friends because of what they were, it would be Flower.  Because Flower smells like asshole.  And no matter how awesome he is, no one would want to be around that.  Tod and Copper should have stayed friends.  And because they didn’t, Disney sucks ass.

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Entry filed under: entertainment, movies, not awesome, random, Rant. Tags: , , , , .

We can moss if we want to! Who Said That: A little of this, a little of that

4 Comments Add your own

  • […] kegger created an interesting post today on What we hate: Disney Edition « Are you me?Here’s a short outlineHey, where’s my happy Disney ending, huh? I don’t watch Disney movies to be depressed or to learn about real life through fables and talking animals. I watch them for the hidden innuendos the FREAKING HAPPY ENDINGS. Tod and Copper are supposed to stay friends. … So, what’s the lesson, Disney? That you can’t overcome your differences and be friends with people (or species) who believe different things and lead different lives? Awesome message, Disney. Just fantastic. … […]

    Reply
  • 2. Is it just us… « Are you me?  |  June 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    […] know that amelie and I have a love/hate relationship with Disney.  Disney is awesome, but then they’ll do something that makes my soul die, like making Tod […]

    Reply
  • 3. Cerra  |  June 14, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Disney didn’t kill Mufasa… seriously have you ever even heard of Kimba the White Lion? The Lion King was originally supposed to be a remake of it, but they found out at the last minute that they couldn’t get the rights for it. So they changed up a few things (Kimba to Simba, changed antagonist from aunt to uncle, etc.) and called it a day. Just like The Little Mermaid (also a rip off) and Atlantis (also a rip off), nothing from Disney seems to be original except the Mouse and all his stupid friends. Even those “Disney Princesses”; they came from old books.
    I have never liked Disney, simply because I didn’t enjoy their media very much (seriously, wtf is up with their advertising?!?). But when I learned of their shameless disrespect of copyright law, and then their hypocritical support of bills like SSSCA and DMCA, I have lost all respect for Disney. Surely I could give credit where credit is due: the mastermind behind the evil corporate behemoth is no doubt a sadistic genius. Somehow they manage to outright take from originality, shove them down your throat in their own (poopy) flavour, and still draw in zillions and zillions of fan$$$. Even though the proof is right there in plain sight, nobody can even do anything about it because they’re too powerful. HOW in the WORLD this happened, I may never know. But I do know one thing: Disney SUCKS, and it’s just fine if you find you hate something they did.

    Reply
    • 4. kegger  |  June 15, 2009 at 1:06 pm

      I think it’s a pretty well-known fact that most of Disney’s material isn’t their own. Except for things like Toy Story (and for their computer animated films, I give all the credit to Pixar).

      Reply

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