An Open Letter to the Execs at ABC

January 7, 2009 at 10:34 am Leave a comment

To whom it may concern:

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you insane? Did you fall and hit your head on something hard? Were you all replaced by alien pods? I don’t understand why you feel it is necessary to yank around the millions–and, yes, there are MILLIONS of us–of Pushing Daisies fans. You’ve already canceled the show. Can you at least give us some closure?

I understand that these are tough economic times and you are, first and foremost, a company that wants to make money. But really, dear Sirs and Madams, I don’t give a rat’s greasy ass about that. Since I can’t have what I really want–a full 22 episode season 2 pick up and a third season–can’t you at least give me the final episodes?

If I’m not mistaken, they’ve already been shot and completed and retooled because you fuckers money-mongers assholes executives dicked around screwed messed up after the writers’ strike and didn’t put Pushing Daisies back on the post-strike schedule. Of course it’s going to bleed viewers. The American public is stupid fickle, and they have really short attention spans. But the loyal millions of us who tuned in every Wednesday night to see what was going on at the Pie Hole didn’t forget. We waited and waited and waited and were not disappointed when Ned and Emerson and the Pie Hoes came back. And then you stabbed us all in the back and canceled the show. I’m not asking for a last-minute reprieve (although I wouldn’t complain if Pushing Daisies got one). All I’m asking is to see the final episodes.

I know my one set of eyeballs doesn’t mean much to you. But there’s nothing on your schedule that is even remotely interesting to me. I don’t watch Lost. I hate Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. Pushing Daisies is a finely crafted, well-acted, wonderfully written and clever show, and I will miss it more than you’ll miss me. I get that. But I can be a very vindictive bitch, so you guys might want to watch your backs. I hear opening a package of rotten pies can really ruin a day.

So for the love of God, air the final episodes.

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Entry filed under: not awesome, Rant, television. Tags: .

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