Archive for November, 2008

Hairy arms = easy lay?

Having married a fraternity guy, I hear all kinds of entertaining fraternity guy stories.  (He wasn’t the stereotypical fraternity guy, thank God, so usually the stories are about one of his fraternity brothers instead of about him.)

One of the most interesting things he’s told me is about how some guys look to see how hairy a girl’s arms are before they buy them a drink at a bar.

According to Puddle, girls with hairy arms have more testosterone in their body, which in turn makes them hornier, which makes them more promiscuous and more likely to go home with them.

Um… huh?  Hairy arms mean a girl is an easy lay?  Are they serious??!

He also says that most guys think a girl that smokes is also easier to get into bed.

I won’t even mention the tramp stamp.

Guys are so scientific.

November 25, 2008 at 2:50 pm Leave a comment

Twilight Movie Review

I’m probably going to go easy on the movie–mostly because I didn’t expect much from it to begin with, and therefore, I wasn’t disappointed with it. [amelie: Whereas I, had I gone to see it, would rip it to shreds because that’s fun and I’m evil.]

Basically, the movie is comparable to the book.  [amelie: so it’s really boring and filled with creepy relationships? Good to know.] Don’t get me wrong, I’m a closet fan of the book, [amelie: “closet fan” my ass. That’s like saying I’m a closet fan of The Office. You love it and you know you love it and I know you love it.] [kegger: I’m a closet fan.  Most people know I’ve READ the book.  Most don’t know I LOVED the book.  And the only person I really talk about the book to is you, amelie.] but when you look at it–and I mean HONESTLY look at it (for you fangirls out there that think Stephenie Meyer can do no wrong)–it’s not that well written, it’s not that exciting, and there really isn’t much of a plot [amelie: Welcome to the darkside. We know good books here].  Remember, this is coming from someone who LOVES the book even though I can’t understand why.  And while I’m an Edward fan, when you think about it, he’s kind of creepy.  1.  He’s freaking 100 and he’s in love with a 17 year old.  2.  He’s kind of a stalker–watching Bella while she’s sleeping and following her to Port Angeles and all.  [amelie: “kind of” a stalker? KIND OF? I just…he…and then she…No. This is not my review, so I’mma shut up now.] So really, with a book like Twilight, you can’t expect an Oscar winning movie, right?

Having said that, I wasn’t disappointed in the movie.  It’s exactly what I expected it to be.

(more…)

November 24, 2008 at 2:17 pm 2 comments

Word of the Week

Street smarts [streetsmahrts] n; something dumb people say when they want to use the word “smart” to describe themselves. “That’s not smart. You just married Earl and had him sign it over to you when he was whacked out on morphine.” “That’s right–street smarts!”

November 21, 2008 at 7:31 pm 3 comments

Go to hell, ABC

You go to hell and you die.

November 21, 2008 at 9:50 am 2 comments

Friday’s Photo!

So I got a new camera a couple of weeks ago and I still haven’t gotten to play with it like I’d like to, but I DID get to take a few pictures of my front yard!

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November 14, 2008 at 2:11 pm 3 comments

Weekly Wrap-Up: A Mixed Bag

What we loved:
How I Met Your MotherNot a Father’s Day. Robin and Ted playing the angel and devil on Lily’s shoulder. Drunken Lily zooming around with a fire extinguisher and a rolling chair.

Chuck–Chuck and Casey’s hilarious, uncomfortable, and unhelpful lip smack. Did something else happen in that episode? We forget because we were laughing too hard.

Iron Man–Let’s ignore the fact that ameliebee is late to the party and celebrate the fact that she showed up at all. It was fun and entertaining and we both thought Robert Downey, Jr. (or as we like to call him, Jeffrey Dean Morgan) did a wonderful job as Tony Stark. Neither of us really felt Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts, and we pegged John Malkovich Jeff Bridges as the bad guy the second his bald head popped up on the screen.

The Office–Drunk-off-his-ass Oscar. “Call her! Call her! No, don’t call her!” “Why won’t you do Andy?” Dear Office producer-type people: We need more Drunk Oscar. He’s our favorite flavor of Oscar.

What we loathed:
How I Met Your Mother–Another cab ride and still no Ranjit? Boo.

Pushing Daisies–To be precise, we loathed the total lack of Ned, Chuck, Emerson, and Olive for the second week in a row. ABC, if you cancel this show because you can’t be arsed to promote it, you deserve all the rotten pie that will surely be sent to you.

What we’re indifferent about:
Chuck–Jill. We don’t love her, we don’t hate her. Right now, we nothing her.

November 14, 2008 at 12:02 pm Leave a comment

Word of the Week

concierge [kon-see-airzh] n; the Winnipeg version of a geisha, trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure.

cheerleader effect [cheer-lee-der i-fekt] n; a group of seemingly attractive women who are, individually, butt ugly. “Just like with cheerleaders–they seem hot, but take each one individually, sled dogs.” See also: bridesmaids paradox, sorority girl syndrome, Spice Girls Conspiracy

November 14, 2008 at 11:42 am Leave a comment

Google this!

I was watching the news this morning while I was getting ready for work, and CNN announced how Google was bragging about being able to predict regional flu outbreaks weeks before the CDC or anybody else.  How?  Everyone that googles “flu” or “flu symptoms” or something flu related will be catalogued and if a lot of people are doing it in a certain area, Google assumes that it means there’s an outbreak in that area.

Really?  Is that really that accurate?  I mean, someone might be Googling “flu” just for the hell of it.  Or they might be looking up the bird flu, but have poor Google skills.  All kinds of shit could happen to screw up their results.

Hell, being on CNN this morning could screw up the accuracy of their information–a lot of people might be googling “flu” and “flu symptoms” simply because of that little blurb on CNN.  Just to see what comes up.  Or because they want to screw up their results.  (I’m totally doing it to screw up their results.)

Maybe people are thinking, “Hm, I wonder what’ll come up if I Google ‘flu’!  Maybe they’ll have a cool little outbreak map or something for me to look at!”  But instead, all they come up with is WebMD or something like that.  That could mess up Google’s results, right?

And that got me to thinking.  I know that they keep track of things that people Google, because sometimes I see a list of the top 10 things (or people, whatever) Googled for a day or week or year or whatever.  That makes me want to Google something completely ridiculous, like “screaming shits,” just so they’ll think, hm, why is everyone Googling “screaming shits?” Maybe we should look into that.  Is that a new popular band?  Or is it a really bad stomach virus? ? What the heck is going on?  Why is everyone looking up “screaming shits”?!?

It could be kind of fun to screw with Google.  Maybe we should all go Google nuts with bizarre screaming shit terms, or with flu searches!  I can see it now.  The flu epidemic map that they have will be completely lit up, just because people like me were little bitches and wanted to screw with Google.

November 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm 1 comment

Word of the Week

Reaching back for these.

smack talk [smak tawk] v; non-hypothetical, evidence-based derogatory phrases used to kill someone’s self esteem, especially when playing ping-pong at work. “Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mama is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like: You’re ugly and I know it for a fact, ’cause I got the evidence right there.”

shun/un-shun [shuhn/un-shuhn] v; An Amish disciplinary technique that is the equivalent of slapping someone with silence. Un-shunning ends the shun and, thus, the punishment. Depending on the infraction, one can be shunned for a period of weeks to years. “I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.”

November 7, 2008 at 3:28 pm Leave a comment


Twitter: kegger

  • RT @morganisawizard: cracking down on billionaires’ tax evasion does not look like monitoring $600 bank transfers. the lengths you people w… 1 day ago
  • @KangaMage @darthcaro @renaissancezoee I did it. Got married at 23. It’s called self control. It’s not hard. 1 month ago
  • RT @SteveDeaceShow: 75% of adults vaccinated according to NYT. Combined with natural immunity, CDC says at least 80% have some immunity to… 1 month ago
  • RT @BurgessOwens: Free people should never be comfortable with the term "I'll use my power as President to get them out of the way"... 1 month ago
  • RT @kirstiealley: People are becoming so “open minded” that down the road they will support pediphilia as people “just loving children” You… 3 months ago

Twitter: ameliebee

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