Archive for August 6, 2008

Olympic Thoughts

If you’re going to the Beijing Olympics, sure, you have Tiananmen Square and the Great Wall and the Forbidden City to look forward to.

But what else do you have to look forward to?

Squatty potties!!!! And that’s not even the worst one. That’s actually a sophisticated squatty potty. That one flushes. What to see one that’s even worse? [amelie: Absofuckinglutely not. No. Please, kegger. Don’t do it.]

And that picture doesn’t even come close to doing it justice. That potty was nasty. There are no words. [amelie: I told you not to do it, but you did it anyway. Damn you!]

Enjoy China, everyone! I sure did when I went there! But maaaaaan was I glad when I got home!!!!!

Additional tips: You think plane bathrooms are bad? No. Compared to squatty potties, they’re the best thing in the history of the universe. Use it one last time, while you can. There is ONE Western toilet in the Beijing airport in each of the women’s bathrooms. The rest are squatties. Take that chance and use it one last time. The nicer hotels probably have western toilets, but you’re pretty much screwed everywhere else you go, so if I were you, I’d drink as little as possible while I was over there and only pee in my hotel.

Also, it’s okay to drink their green tea (which is pretty much all anyone over there offers you)–it doesn’t make you poo like Mexico’s water. [amelie: You know what? I’m never going anywhere with you ever.]

August 6, 2008 at 3:31 pm 6 comments


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