The Supernatural Guide to Life

June 2, 2008 at 9:19 am Leave a comment

I’ve decided to take this summer to get started on shows I want to watch but don’t have time for during the regular season, beginning with Supernatural. I’m in the middle of season 1, but here are a few useful things I’ve learned so far from this delightfully demonic (and very…uh…attractive) show:

1. White nightgowns or dresses + blonde hair = you’re gonna die.
2. Whatever creepy thing is out there, it’s always behind you. IT’S ALWAYS BEHIND YOU.
3. Children are probably evil.
4. Never leave home without rock salt, holy water, a shotgun, a flare gun, a pistol, lighter fluid, and a lighter or matches. A false bottom in the trunk of your car can safely hide your anti-evil armory.
5. Seriously, dude. It’s behind you right now.
6. Faith healers cannot save one life without taking another. Cosmic balance and all that.
7. Ancient pagan traditions are all fun and games until people start dying at the hands of murderous scarecrows.
8. For the love of all that’s holy, pay attention to horror movies and don’t go into abandoned, haunted insane asylums/houses/cemeteries/etc.
9. Bugs suck. They suck and you should kill them before they kill you.
10. When the lights start flickering and go off for no apparent reason and when your clocks stop working, also for no apparent reason, there’s some bad jujumagumbo coming. And it’s probably behind you.

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Entry filed under: random amusement, television. Tags: .

Doesn’t this sound like something from a sci-fi flick? A moment of silence

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