Indiana Jones and the Four Pound Crystal Skull

May 25, 2008 at 1:14 pm 6 comments

Yesterday, Puddle and I went to see the new Indiana Jones flick.  Lots of people have been expecting this movie to be the biggest hit of the summer.  After seeing it, I have to say that I REALLY wish that George Lucas had just let things be.  Why couldn’t it have ended with The Last Crusade?  

When I walked out of the movie theater, I was disappointed.  The more I have time to think about it, though, the more annoyed I got with the movie.  I thought Lucas was an anal perfectionist. And if he is, what the hell happened to this movie?  There were so many inconsistencies that it got kind of ridiculous.  

If you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read any further.  

  1. The crystal skull was obviously plastic.  It looked like a cheap prop.  Plastic on the outside, tin foil on the inside.  Which, I’m sure it was, but shouldn’t they have tried a little harder?  A crystal skull that big would have weighted a good 40 pounds, at least.  It was huge!  But throughout the entire movie, Indiana and Oxley and everyone else carry it around like it weighs 4 pounds.  They don’t even TRY to make it appear heavy.  
  2. The skull is magnetic.  Putting a thin piece of fabric on top of it would not make it unmagnetic.  It seemed like the skull was only magnetic when it was convenient.  Sometimes it didn’t affect metal around it at all.  Other times, it did.  It wasn’t consistent.  
  3. Okay, so the aliens were archaeologists and they collected an assload of things from all over the world?  Tons and tons of stuff, from every culture.  Okay… so why did they destroy everything that they collected when their flying saucer took off?  What was the point of spending all of that time accumulating everything if they were just going to destroy it?  It seemed a bit pointless.  
  4. Also, why the heck did the aliens turn into one person at the end?  I don’t get it.  What was the point?  I DON’T GET IT!  
  5. So if you had to have the crystal skull to get into the room with all of the other crystal skulls, how did the Spanish Conquistador get in the room to steal the skull in the first place???  
  6. Seriously–I thought Lucas was a perfectionist.  How did he miss all of these inconsistencies???  I mean, they were so obvious!  How did he miss them?!?!?  Inconsistencies in movies/television shows are one of my biggest pet peeves!  
  7. Was it just me, or was Harrison Ford not quite as Indiana Jones-ish this time?  It just didn’t feel like the others.  
  8. Having Mudd (or was it Mutt?  I can’t remember.  Anyway, whatever.)  fly through the jungle on vines like Tarzan was a little ridiculous.  And why did the monkeys only attack the Communists?  
I think that George Lucas just needs to retire.  Was anybody truly happy with the prequel Star Wars movies?  (I’m not a Star Wars fan myself, so I can’t really talk, but I’ve never heard avid fans say good things about those movies.  They always criticize them.)  And now he’s ruined Indiana Jones.  I think he should just call it a day.  He’s loaded and he’s got a few decent films under his bet.  He should just retire.  It doesn’t seem like he’s done much worth mentioning in the last ten years or so.  
So for those of you who haven’t seen Indiana Jones yet, I’d say wait and Netflix it.  It’s kind of a disappointment.  But maybe that’s just me.  
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Entry filed under: entertainment, movies, not awesome, Rant. Tags: , , .

Reactions to Finales I’m a little disturbed…

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. John  |  May 25, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    I guess my dog and I won’t even wait for the DVD. John

    Reply
  • 2. Eric  |  May 26, 2008 at 2:50 am

    9. Either Indiana Jones should be younger, or this movie should be set in a different time period since he drank from the holy grail in the previous film only “12 years ago” in the movie. I thought the grail was supposed to supply some sort of eternal youth.

    Reply
  • 3. kegger  |  May 26, 2008 at 8:58 am

    You’re right, Eric. I hadn’t even thought of that! And technically, shouldn’t his dad be living, too? He drank from the holy grail, too!! It had to give you eternal life–otherwise, how had Joseph of Aramathia the grail knight stayed in that room by himself for so long without dying?

    Edit: I’ve heard multiple explanations for this one. Some people have said that you’re only immortal if you stay in the room with the grail–which seems silly to me. I gathered from the movie that you couldn’t take the grail out of building or whatever it was, not that you yourself would no longer be immortal if you left. But, whatever. Either way, I thought it would be worth mentioning.

    Reply
  • 4. Paul  |  June 1, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    Well, that wasn’t Joseph of Aramathia, just for starters. He was a Knight from the Crusades. And he stated that he couldn’t leave the place, so in theory, eternal life is granted as long as you stayed there.
    That aside, what about the LED displays in Area 51? Weren’t LEDs invented in 1962? And indeed, the magnetism that only works when it is convenient is an insult to anyone’s intelligence. There’s a scene when Ox removes the cloth covering the skull and only THEN the coins start getting attracted. But strangely, while Indy was tied to the chair and forced to look to the skull’s “eyes”, nothing of that sort happened.
    Well, if we want to be nitpickers, there’s plenty of material for this. How about Indy getting to the island holding on a sumarine periscope (1st movie)?
    Indiana Jones films are meant for fun, so grab your popcorn and relax.

    Reply
  • 5. kegger  |  June 1, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    My bad on the Joseph of Aramathia thing–I could have sworn that was him, but you’re right, it’s most definitely not. Oops.

    And I can’t help but nitpick this movie. There are inconsistencies in every movie, I’m sure, but this one was a bit over the top. If the story made up for it, I could have ignored it, but it didn’t. It was all around an awful movie. Not to mention the fact that inconsistencies like the ones in this movie are one of my pet peeves.

    Reply
  • 6. Honest  |  June 19, 2008 at 5:36 am

    Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

    cheers, Honest.

    Reply

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