Archive for March 31, 2008

Countdown to The Office

April 10 is the best day of the year, as far as I’m concerned. And since tomorrow is April Fool’s Day, I thought I’d combine the two and give you my top Office pranks, one a day until The Office returns.

Number 11: Secret Agent Man

The episode: A Benihana Christmas

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The players: Jim and Pam

The prank: Dwight is only tangentially involved in this prank. It’s more about Jim and Pam’s relationship than anything. Anyway, Pam’s Christmas gift to Jim is a classified folder full of information on her ongoing Dwight prank. She has carefully set Dwight up to think that he is being recruited by the CIA to perform a top-secret mission, even getting him to reveal all sorts of secrets he promised to never tell. Jim gets to decide exactly what that top-secret mission is. He initially rejects Pam’s gift (because of his new status as Assistant to the Regional Manager, he’s evolving, blah blah we want fun!Jim back), but then, smart boy, he rejects the rejection. Together, they send Dwight to the roof to wait for a helicopter from Langley, where he receives the following ominous text message: “You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone.”

March 31, 2008 at 7:17 pm 2 comments

The more I think about it, the more pissed off I am with the last Harry Potter book

Ever since they announced that they’re going to make the final HP book into 2 movies instead of one, I’ve been thinking.

I didn’t like Harry Potter and the Dealthy Hallows. I was somewhat disappointed with it when it first came out, but now, the more I think about it, the more I’m just PISSED. I mean, I still have an assload of questions. And you aren’t supposed to have an assload of questions at the end of a series, all of your questions are supposed to be answered! And I don’t want to get my answers from some stupid J.K. Rowling interview, I want to get my answers from the BOOK!

And also, I think most of the book was a complete waste of time. Couldn’t Rowling have condensed all of the aimless wandering into less space? Because honestly, I was bored with Harry, Hermione, and Ron fighting all of the time and walking around with no clue as to where to go. That could have been shortened a LOT.

I also don’t like that it wasn’t at Hogwarts. I missed Ginny and Neville and all of the professors and classes. It’s like Rowling created the awesome, kickass world that is Hogwarts, and then said, “Oh, nevermind, I’m taking it away, we aren’t going there again!” Well, foo on you! I don’t want to read about Harry wandering around all angsty, I want to read about Harry in his final year of school with his friends. And he can be angsty with his friends all he wants, but at least make him angsty with other people instead of wandering around aimlessly by himself and fighting constantly with his two best friends over and over again! That was BORING! Things concerning Voldemort have always happened in Hogwarts, why couldn’t he have stayed at Hogwarts? I mean, in the end, he ended up in Hogwarts, anyway. That’s where all the trouble ends up happening, so why leave it?

And the fight scene–it felt so rushed. It’s like, the entire book was blah blah blah, slow slow slow, aimless wandering, and then BAM! We’re back at Hogwarts and everything is crazy and there’s fighting and there’s no cool down time, or anything. If I were to compare it to an exercise, it was like the warm up was WAY too long, the actual vigorous exercise that gets your heart pumping was WAY too short, and then there was no cool down period to keep you from getting sore muscles. It was just suddenly over.

And THEN we get this REALLY crappy Epilogue that pretty much tells us nothing! We find out that Harry and Ginny end up together and have kids (which we knew all along.) We find out that Ron and Hermione end up together (which we also knew all along.) But we don’t find out crap about what happened after Voldemort was dead. I mean, sure, Voldy was dead, but I imagine there were some bad witches that they had to deal with–like Malfoy’s father. What happened to them? And the Ministry of Magic was a complete wreck, right? What happened with the magical government? How did they get their crap straight? And did Harry and Ron and Hermione go back to school for their last year? For that matter, Hogwarts was completely trashed after the big fight and half of the students were injured or had snuck out of the secret tunnel, etc. So what happened? Did they have to postpone the end of the year, what?! WHAT HAPPENED?!? Who ended up as Headmaster after Snape died? What did Ron and Harry and Hermione and Ginny end up doing for a living? When did they end up getting married and having babies? I WANT ANSWERS, DAMNIT! And NOT from interviews!!!

And what happened to the Weasley’s? How did they deal with the death of George? I think it was George that died. It might have been Fred, I really can’t remember. I would have liked it more if Percy had been the one that was offed, honestly, but she had to pick one of the twins to make it more sad and emotional, I’m sure. And that wasn’t a big suprirse, either. I mean, there were so many Weasley’s that you knew that at least one of them would die.

And Tons and Remus. I wanted more of them. And what was the point of making Harry the godfather if he didn’t even raise their baby? You’d think Harry would have wanted to raise the baby no matter how young he was simply because he didn’t want the baby to be as unfortunate as he had been. But anyway.

as;ldfjasodfkja;lsdfkj!!! I’m sure I could complain a LOT more, but I’ll stop for now. I’m sure that amelie has a few things to add.

March 31, 2008 at 3:01 pm 4 comments

Sometimes it would be so much fun to be a bitch

Everyday, I drive by this catering company called “Nation’s Best Catering.”  It ticks me off every time.  I’ve never actually tried their catering to see if it’s actually good or not, but I think it’s pretty damn cocky (not to mention impossible to prove, and therefor it’s kind of false advertising when you think about it) to name your company “Nation’s Best Catering.” 

 So I was driving to work the other day and I was particularly grumpy–mostly because I was being someone who was going BELOW the speed limit (which is one of my pet peeves)  and also because I didn’t want to be awake, anyway–and I decided that catering company really annoyed me. 

And that if I ever got a chance to do it (even though I know absolutely nothing at all about catering) I would by the building RIGHT next to it, and open a catering company called “World’s Best Catering,” just to piss them off. 

Wouldn’t that be fun?!  That’s become a fantasy of mine.  Sometimes, I think it would be a lot of fun to be a bitch and do things like that. 

Another fantasy of mine:  I want to buy one of those 1970’s or 80’s Cadillacs.  You know, of of those big ass cars that is pure metal.  The ones where if you hit a tree, the tree falls over, but there isn’t even a dent in the car.  I want one of those cars.  And I want to get an asslodad of insurance on it, and then, when people pull out in front of me or when they drive like idiots around me, I’m just going to stop slamming on my breaks to keep from hitting them.  I’m just going to hit them and start collecting insurance money.  I bet I would have so many wrecks that it would be a daily occurance. 

I’ve decided that the driving test needs to be much more difficult than it is. 

Also concerning driving:  There is actually a woman who drives a white Lexus that lives somewhere around my husband and I, and every morning and every afternoon on her way home from work, she reads while driving.  SHE FREAKING READS A BOOK WHILE DRIVING!  I like to read, too, but seriously!  That’s dangerous!  I keep expecting to see her in a wreck one afternoon.  I mean, you can only tempt fate so much, right?  And she’s most definitely not paying attention to her driving. 

March 31, 2008 at 2:33 pm 2 comments


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