Archive for March 25, 2008

You know how I know you’re me?

amelie bee and I are remarkably similar in many, many ways. We decided that y’all need to know just how alike we really are. First up, television.

We watch a lot of television. It’s our thing; don’t judge us. Between the two of us, we watch just about any show imaginable. Here is a breakdown of the shows we like, separated by genre:


ab: I only included shows I own, because those shows generally have a high rewatchability factor (average number of times I have watched an entire season x average number of times a random, inappropriate quote from that show pops into my head a day, with bonus points if I can name the episode, season and speaker of the quote.) So while I genuinely like NewsRadio (and Will and Grace and Frasier and Cheers…), I don’t own ’em and I can’t quote ’em. And I didn’t include all the sitcoms I own, either (Scrubs, Coupling). I did include It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Flight of the Conchords—sitcoms with only one season on DVD (well, two in Sunny’s case, but they’re short seasons). I cannot count the number of times I want to tell the world that I’m the hiphopopotamus and my lyrics are bottomless. Or exclaim with awe and respect, “Goddamit, Agent Jack Bauer. You really are the man.” Or share an awkward moment between friends at the welfare store.

kegger: Ditto. Mostly. I had a very hard time deciding what to add and what not to add to sitcoms because I love sitcoms. They make me smile and giggle like an idiot. And giggling is one of my favorite pastimes. So I decided to pick the ones I watch the most, and I do have all of my choices on DVD except for Earl. And the IT Crowd (because it’s a UK television show–I was bad and downloaded the shows off the internet so that I could watch them at home. Hurry up and get here, U.S. version, and please be as awesome as the British version!!!)

ab: The American version of IT gets bonus points for having Joel McHale.

UPDATE: Since making our venn diagrams, kegger has officially made amelie bee addicted to the IT Crowd, as well. I’m so proud! 🙂


March 25, 2008 at 6:09 pm Leave a comment

Dear Presidential Candidates,

Dear Hillary Clinton:

Why do you have to be president AGAIN?! Haven’t you already been president for eight years? Why do you wanna do it again? Go away!

Also, concerning your little “I was shot at by snipers in Bosnia” comment that turned out to be a big fat lie: You recently said that you “misspoke,” and that you couldn’t keep up with everything that you’ve said. NEWSFLASH! YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP UP WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY IF YOU DON’T LIE, YOU STUPID DUMBASS!

Please go away and get the hell off of my television.



Dear Barak Obama:

I’m beginning to think that you’re as full of crap as Hillary. I have a big problem with you going to a church that preaches hate for 20 years. I mean, I can understand you visiting a few times to see if you like it, but if it’s teaching hate, I’m just not okay with the fact that you went there for 20 years and now you want to be president of our country. You can’t tell me that you don’t at least partially agree with your former pastor, especially when you’ve called him your “mentor” more than once. I think I would like you to go away, too. Please get the hell off of my television.



Dear John McCain:

I don’t care if you were a POW in Vietnam. Why does that make you more qualified to run our country? Haven’t you run for president enough times unsuccessfully to realize that no one REALLY wants you to be president? Please go away and get the hell off of my television.



Dear Ralph Nadar:

Seriously, why are you even bothering?



March 25, 2008 at 3:06 pm Leave a comment

Twitter: kegger

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  • RT @BurgessOwens: Free people should never be comfortable with the term "I'll use my power as President to get them out of the way"... 1 month ago
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Twitter: ameliebee

March 2008