People you’d hate in real life

February 26, 2008 at 7:35 pm 3 comments

As kegger can tell you, I watch a lot of television. It’s my hobby, and yes, I know how lame that sounds. Because of the strike, my tv-watching habits have changed drastically. I mostly watch DVDs now, and nothing is appointment television at the moment. (that will change April 10 when The Office makes its glorious return to the world.) I’ve been evaluating my favorite television shows, and I realized something: I mostly like shows with characters whom I would hate in real life.

For instance, my favorite show–hands down, without question, I-wouldn’t-survive-desert-island-life-without it–is Arrested Development. I jumped on the Bluth bandwagon a little late, but I’ve watched the DVDs so much I’ve practically burned holes in them. Give me a quote and I can tell you at the very least who said it and to whom, if not the episode title and season. Shut up. It is too a talent.

If you think about it, the Bluths have very little, if any, redeeming qualities. They are horrible people. They lie, cheat, steal, defraud, build illegal housing in Iraq, forget their children, accidentally kill old men by hiding them in Aztec Tombs, hate the wetlands and regularly blue themselves. All this makes for awesomely hilarious television, but if I lived next door to the Bluths (probably not in Sudden Valley, but maybe in Paradise Gardens), I’d be buried under the jail. Although, what with the light treason, I might be considered a hero…

Another show I adore but whose characters would make Mother Theresa violent is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Any show that can poke fun at welfare, crack addicts, abortion, pre-op transexuals, and learning disabilities is pretty much going to own me. But if I actually knew Dennis, Dee, and the rest of the Paddy’s Pub gang, I would hate myself and I would hate them. That would, of course, send me into a downward spiral of heavy drinking, and I’d die at 35 of liver disease.

Even The West Wing, a show so drastically different from AD and Sunny in tone and execution, yet still one of my all-time favorites, has characters who would drive me insane if they were remotely real. The Bartlet Administration was full of idealistic politicians who truly wanted to do what was best under circumstances that were difficult on the best of days and damn near impossible the rest of the time. But for all their idealism, they were also ego-maniacal narcissists with holier-than-thou attitudes. Good television? Absolutely. Would I stab them with the pointy end of my shoe if I actually knew people like them? Without a doubt.

I don’t know what attracts me to these characters. Maybe it’s that I don’t know anyone like them, so their personalities don’t offend me. Maybe I’m a horrible person who is drawn to fictional characters who resemble my own personality. Maybe I just have awesome taste in television. I don’t know the answer. But I do know that, as long as there are scripted assholes on television, I’ll be watching.

Bring it on, writers. I’m ready and waiting.

Entry filed under: television.

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kegger  |  March 12, 2008 at 12:16 am

    It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia makes me happy on the inside. 🙂 And it also kind of makes me want to own a bar.

  • 2. ameliebee  |  March 12, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Oh, I love Sunny. It’s awesome. But I would not want to know those people in real life, because I might have to fork stab them McPoyle-style.

    “That’s what you get, Charlie! You get for-stabbed! FORK STABBED!”

  • 3. kegger  |  March 25, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    You know, I didn’t seriously think about this the first time I read it (must have been half asleep that day, because I was rereading this today and I was thinking, what? I haven’t read this! How did I miss this!? And then I saw that I’d left a comment and I SERIOUSLY did NOT remember leaving it. So, yeah, must have been an off day.) but you’re right. I would hate most of the people in real life that I love on TV. Like Dwight Schrute. I’d kill him. Or Michael Scott. If he was my boss, I’d shoot myself. And yeah, the people on Sunny are some of the worst humans on the planet and I freakin LOOOOVE watching them on TV. But I could never in good conscience be their friends. I guess I’ve never thought about that before. Good blog, amelie. Not sure where my brain was the first time I read this. 🙂


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February 2008


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