Blasts of Cold Air and Icy Treats

June 22, 2007 at 12:00 am 4 comments

Push-up popIt’s summer in Mississippi, which means one thing: it’s hotter than the armpits of hell. Summer is the time of the year when I become jealous of polar bears and ice fishermen. Since I’m not a polar bear, I don’t live anywhere near a polar ice cap, and I’d probably fall in if I ever went ice fishing, here’s how I stay cool in the miserable heat of summer.
Air Conditioning

When my mother was a girl, she would visit her grandmother in Vicksburg, Miss., every summer. My great-grandmother did not have air conditioning, and she would not let the overhead fans run at night. I can’t even imagine living like this. Sprinkle in a few spiders and you’ve got every nightmare I’ve ever had. Currently, I’m renting the upstairs of a two-story house with one air conditioner–on the first floor. If I didn’t have my overhead fan and my desk fan, I would melt like the Wicked Witch of the East every night. When they say hot air rises, they aren’t lying. I foresee a window unit in my future, because I won’t make it through this summer with fans alone.

One of the best things about being outside is walking into fully air conditioned, 65 degree building. Feeling that first rush of cold, dry air on your face never gets old. On really hot days, I like to find floor vents and act like Marilyn Monroe in the Seven Year Itch. Try it sometime and tell me it’s not as wonderful as it looks.

Standing in front of the open refrigerator

When the first blast of the air conditioner doesn’t provide enough chill, planting your face in the fridge is a perfectly acceptable alternative. I know this isn’t exactly the most PC thing to do. I know it wastes energy. I know that having a working air conditioner completely negates any reason for doing this. But ohmygod is it heavenly. I don’t recommend randomly open the fridge for the cold air. That would be wasteful.

Popsicles

Nothing says summer like frozen, colored, sugar water. The best of the best is Flav-R-Ice, the Kool-aid-sweet ice treats that come in plastic sleeves. My favorite flavors are pink and blue. I know pink and blue are colors and not flavors, but as much as I love Flav-R-Ice, I’ve never taken the time to figure out what the Flavs actually are. Purple tastes like cough syrup, red has a slight chemical aftertaste, and orange is just okay.

The Flintstones push-up pops are a close runner-up to the best of the best Popsicle award. Technically, these aren’t Popsicles. Technically, I don’t care. They are frozen and yummy orange sherbet treats that were the best part of elementary school lunches. Even when the cardboard tube would get soggy and gross, even when I got down to the plastic platform that pushed the pop up, I adored this summertime specialty.

Sweet tea

Cold? Check. Sweet? Check? Drinkable? Check. What’s not to love about sweet tea? Better than a cold beer on a hot day, sweet tea completes every barbecue, cookout, and potluck dinner. Fried anything without sweet tea is just not right. Sweet tea is not strictly a summer treat, but it’s so much more satisfying on a 100-degree day than it is on a 45-degree winter day.

Yeah. We don’t get very cold winters down here. But that’s for another day.

Frozen fruity drinks

As much as I love sweet tea, nothing beats a daiquiri, rum runner, frozen margarita, or key lime freeze. It has all the properties of sweet tea–cold, sweet, drinkable–with a little something extra: alcohol. You know what they say. It’s five o’clock somewhere.

These are not the healthiest ways to stay cool. I get that. This is just how I do it.

That’s what she said.

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Entry filed under: summer. Tags: .

Everybody poops.

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kegger  |  June 22, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    I have been told multiple times that I am not Southern because I don’t like sweet tea. I HATE sweet tea. It just tastes like flavored water to me. Which is really odd, because I DO like green tea. The hot, unsweetened, tastes-like-warm-bath-water kind of green tea. But, I admit that I probably wouldn’t have liked that if I hadn’t been in China for 10 days, where I was forced to drink it. Still, I see nothing tasty at all about sweet tea. Give me a ice cold Diet Coke. Ohmygosh! I think that’s the only thing we DON’T have in common!!!

    Concerning those fantastic Flinstones Push-up pops, when I was little, after I finished the push up pop, I would wash out the little cardbord thingie, put the push up part in the very bottom of the cardboard thingie, and make a cup out of it and drink something out of it. I thought I was so cool for thinking of that. I know, I’m strange.

    Reply
  • 2. realthing02  |  June 13, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Ok, I was talking to my friend about having an “Ice Cream Social” and I mentioned Flinstone Push-up pops and she had absolutely no Idea what I was talking about. I am very happy that you know only know them, but think they are amazing as well. Although, Otterpops are the only Popsicle-in-a-sleeve allowed 🙂

    Reply
  • 3. ameliebee  |  June 13, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    She’s never heard of Flinstone Push-up pops? Your poor friend. I feel sorry for her! 🙂

    Reply
  • 4. kegger  |  June 19, 2008 at 8:37 am

    I loved those when I was little.

    Reply

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