Nine things I love about Pushing Daisies

In honor of tonight’s return of the Pie Hole and Ned and his Pie Hos (and in no particular order)…

1. Digby the Undead Dog

2. The musical numbers

3. Emerson Cod’s love of money

3.5 Emerson’s love of knitting

4. The symmetry of the names: Charlotte Charles, the Darling Mermaid Darlings, Boutique Travel Travel Boutique, Couer d’Couers…

5. All the delicious-looking (and occasionally homeopathic-mood-enhancing) pies

6. Jim Dale as the narrator

7. Ned’s arms angst

8. The fact that Vivian’s name has two Is and Lily’s name has one I, and Vivian-the-character has two eyes while Lily-the-character has one eye.

9. The coroner, his Christmas sweater, and his mm-hmms

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In case you were wondering

Because we do and we are.

What We’re Watching: Fall ‘08

Chuck

amelie: Even though season 1 was cut by the strike, it was a pretty stellar set up for what’s to come. Where else am I going to get my geek/spy love each week?

kegger: It’s like Alias meets The O.C. I’m sold.  And can I just mention that Adam Baldwin is freaking awesome?

Pushing Daisies

amelie: Poor baby was not just shortened by the strike–season 1 barely existed! But PD is that one show that doesn’t need a lot of episodes to make an impression; the pilot alone is unforgettable. The oversaturated colors, the quirky characters, the underlying layer of sadness beneath the shiny surface of humor–I want it all back and I want it back NOW. Or, you know, next Wednesday. Whatever. I’m easy like that.

kegger: I love Chuck and Ned!  And I love all of the shiny happy colors.  This show reminds me of a colorful Edward Scissorhands for some reason.

The Office

amelie: Hopefully the NBC wanktards have learned that burning off all the hour-long episodes at the beginning of the season was a colossal waste of time and talent. And even if they haven’t learned, I’m still this show’s bitch and I’ll watch whatever they come up with.

kegger: Don’t get me wrong–I LOVE hour long episodes of The Office, but KNOWING there was a strike coming up, couldn’t they have spread it all out a little bit so we wouldn’t have to go through Office withdrawls?  I hope this show never ends!

30 Rock

amelie: Each week this show gets wackier and funnier and more outrageous. And each week, I still want to hit that.

How I Met Your Mother

amelie: It’s back, babydoll! I will cry foul for years and years until NPH gets his freaking Emmy. He managed to Ted out in the season opener without douching it up. He’s funny and sweet and surprisingly deep for a self-proclaimed bimbo lover. Okay, okay, so Barney isn’t the center of the show–the whole gang is important and I’m glad we still don’t know who the mother is. I’m content to watch it play out for as long as Bays and Thomas want.

kegger: I’m a new HIMYM convert–I got hooked on it during the strike.  So this will be my first season that I get to watch while it’s actually on television and not on DVD.  And I have a feeling it’s going to be… legen… wait for it… dary!  (Shut up.  I know that was cheesy, but I couldn’t resist.) [amelie: It will also be de...wait for it...lightful. Delightful!]

Supernatural

amelie: This is my new baby, which I still haven’t gotten kegs to watch yet. I’m working on it, though. I only just caught up with season 3 (thank you, CW reruns!). The season 4 opener was so strong and wonderful that any disappointment I had in season three has been conveniently forgotten. Bring on more pretty boys hunting things. Whee!

kegger: I’ve actually never in my life seen an episode of Supernatural (and it’s all your fault, you whores at DirecTV that don’t freaking give me the CW!!!) but amelie has been trying to convince me to watch it for a while now.  I’m game.  Hot guys?  Works for me.  Or, it WOULD, if I freaking had the CW!!!!!

True Blood

amelie: I’m still on the fence about this one. On the one hand, it’s got pretty people and vampires and I think we’ve covered the fact that I’m easy. On the other hand, GOD the accents. So it’s a toss up.

kegger: I have a thing for vampires and witches and all things supernatural (which means I would probably love Supernatural, amelie!) so I’ll probably give this show a chance longer than amelie just because I like the genre.  But, I do have some serious problems with it.

1.  The books are just okay.  So far, anyway.  I’ve only read book one.  And logically, it makes sense to me that if a book that is just okay, is going to make a show that’s just okay, or worse.  Usually worse.

2.  There’s a LOT of unnecessary sex.  Don’t get me wrong, sex is fine, but unnecessary sex is just kind of annoying.  We get it.  You’re on HBO.  You can show boobs all day long.  Enough, already.

3.  The Southern accents make me cringe every time I hear them.

4.  They freaking pronounce the main character’s name “Suckie” instead of “Sookie.”  What?!?!?  Suckie?!  Um, NO!  I don’t care how Southern you are, no one would call that poor girl Suckie! [amelie: Uh, yeah, except for the part where you and I call all things True Blood-related "Suckie."]

But still.  Vampires and hot boys?  I’ll keep watching for now.  [amelie: Psst: There are vampires and HOT BOYS in Supernatural. In case you were wondering...] [kegger:  I do believe you've mentioned that before, amelie.]

New Facebook–Epic Fail

In amelie’s words, the new Facebook makes the baby Jesus cry.

It’s awful.  It’s the most un-user friendly website I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.  Whoever designed it should be publicly humiliated in front of the Washington Monument.  Or something.

I used to be pretty addicted to Facebook.  Now?  Since they changed me over to the new, crappy, hard to navigate “new” Facebook, I’ve avoided it like the plague.

How the hell am I supposed to keep up with everyone if I can’t even find their information?  I liked having all of my info on one page.  What’s the point of having Flair if no one is even going to get to SEE my flair?  Because I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m not wasting my time clicking on an “Applications” tab.  It’s not worth the effort and not worth the time.  And they’ve stretched the pages so they don’t fit on my screen anymore.  I think this is going to make them lose advertising, (and I hope it does, because new Facebook SUCKS!) because now the ads are on the right side of the page, and I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m not going to bother scrolling over to the right side of the page just to look at some ad.  Nope.  Sorry.  Not happening.

And the Photos page–they completely eliminated the point of having photo albums.  Because now it’s just a big old jumbled mess.

I really don’t get their logic.  The guy who designed new Facebook must have a brain that works completely different than everyone else’s, because if he SERIOUSLY thought that it was easier to navigate and more user friendly, he’s got to be mildly nuts.  Or on some serious drugs.  Or something.

So amelie and I have a plan.  Admittedly, it probably won’t work, but it at least makes me feel better.  (It doesn’t make amelie feel better.  She’s still pissed.)  Until they somehow improve the site, or until they admit that they came up with a REALLY bad idea and take it back to the old design, we’re going to send them daily negative feedback.  They might not read it, but it’s about the ONLY thing I’ll be doing on Facebook until they improve it somehow, because every time I log on now, I cringe, look at the home page, and immediately log off again.

So, Facebook team–new Facebook sucks.  It’s an epic fail.  Admit it and take it back to the old format!  Pretty please, with a game of Scrabulous on top?

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Why can’t Hollywood SUCCESSFULLY fake a Southern accent?

This has always been a pet peeve of mine.  Hollywood’s got the Boston accent down.  And the New York accent.  And the Midwest accent.  But Southern?  No.  Not even close.  They can’t seem to perfect the Southern accent–not even a little. [amelie: The quickest way to get me to stop watching a show? Bastardizie a Southern accent.]

Why?  It’s not that hard.  For most people, it’s just a light, subtle twang.  It’s not nearly as severe as they always try to make it.  I don’t get it.  Don’t they do research or something?  [amelie: Why do research when what they've been doing for years is working SO WELL? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.] Why can’t they like, take a trip down here and listen to people talk for a few days or something?  Because whatever they’re doing to fake the Southern accent isn’t working. [amelie: And for the record, a Mississippi accent is totally different from a Louisiana accent, which is totally different from a Texas accent. In case you were wondering.]

Best TV Pilots

TV Guide has a list of the 10 best TV pilots. Bold move, TV Guide. There’s no way to make everyone happy with this list. In fact, I was rather disappointed with it. So I decided to make my own list. And, okay, maybe these aren’t the best. But they are my favorite pilots, and for the most part, these are the episodes that made me want to watch. Isn’t that the point of a pilot? So here they are, in no particular order, amelie’s Ten Seven Best Favorite Pilots:

1. Arrested Development–Of course I’m going to include this episode. If you know me, you know that AD is my number one all-time favorite show ever. Maybe I didn’t start with the pilot. Maybe I started with season 2 and worked my way backwards. I’ll never tell. But as far as pilots go, this one is pretty funny, and it’s one I can watch over and over and over. And, uh, maybe I have.

2. Lost–I don’t actually watch this show anymore, but I was hooked on season 1 and the pilot is the reason. It’s jarring and frightening, with the desperate need to just survive laced through all the characters. The big mysteries didn’t matter at the time; all that mattered was getting from one moment to the next.

3. Spaced–From the opening scenes where you think one thing is happening but really it’s another thing entirely to the cross-breeding mice-spiders hell bent on stealing cheese, there is very little about this pilot that disappoints. I only just found Spaced (as in, I started watching it last night), but I’ve seen the pilot twice so far, and I could watch it a dozen more times. It sets up the show without hitting you in the head with exposition and it gets bonus points for being genuinely funny.

4. Veronica Mars–There was a lot to love about Veronica–her snark, her intelligence, her devotion to her father, her cynicism, her dog–and it was all there in the pilot. The season one arcs of who killed Lily and who raped Veronica were two very heavy and difficult subjects that were presented in a fairly raw manner, but the show managed to balance the angst and the humor from the very beginning.

5. Pushing Daisies–For a show that is so sweet it makes your teeth rot, Pushing Daisies deals with some pretty heavy stuff. Death and isolation don’t scream romance. If you can come away from the pilot without feeling sad for Ned, yet strangely happy that his once-dead childhood sweetheart is now undead and forever entangled in his strange, pie-filled world, then your heart is made of stone. Also, if you can come away from this pilot without craving pie, you are just not human.

6. The West Wing–One of my favorite character introductions was Leo McGarry’s battle with the Times crossword. It was such a little thing to get hung up on, but it’s something that happens to the best of us. Remember kiddies: Khaddafi is spelled with an H and two Ds and isn’t a seven letter word for anything.

7. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia–The episode is called “The Gang Gets Racist” and it does what it says on the tin: the proprietors of Paddy’s Pub act all kinds of inappropriate while taking on racism and homophobia in such a way that it didn’t leave me grossed out. It’s wrong on so many levels, but that’s what makes it funny.

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Seriously?!

Please tell me that New Kids On the Block’s new album ISN’T really the number 4 most downloaded album on iTunes.  Please tell me that there’s something wrong with my vision and I’m seeing things. Please!!  I’m seeing things, right???!    

And while I’m at it, please tell me that their “comeback” doesn’t mean that boy bands are going to make a comeback.  Because I hate boy bands.  N’Sync?  No, thank you.  Backstreet Boys?  Ew.  New Kids On the Block?  Even worse.

She Said/She Said: Pop Culture Edition

Guilty Pleasure song you must dance to any time you hear it:

amelie: Baby Got Back and Hot in Herre. I also happen to know all the words to both songs. It’s a gift. Possibly a curse.

kegger:  Oh!  Oh! That Shake it Like a Poloroid Picture song!!!!

Karaoke is…

amelie: not something I enjoy doing, but it’s great fun to watch other people do, especially if they’re drunk and making fools of themselves.

kegger: something I only did once, in a closed in room in New York.  And that’s the only way to do it.  In front of a group of friends in a tiny room where no one can see you make a fool of yourself!

Which one of these could you go the longest without: iPod, cell phone, DVR, or hair gel?

amelie: Hair gel, I guess. I use the other three daily.

kegger: hair gel and DVR.  I don’t use hair gel and unfortunately, I don’t have DVR… yet.

Which Beverly Hills, 90210 character were you most like in high school?

amelie: God, seriously? I don’t know. I guess I was nerdy like Ohhhhndrea but hopefully not as insufferably annoying.

kegger: I refuse to answer this question.  I hated 90210.  And while we’re on the topic, seriously, is there ANYONE who’s excited about the new version?  Please say no.

When you were young, you wrote a fan letter to…

amelie: I don’t think I’ve ever written a fan letter, because even as  kid I knew I wouldn’t get a response. Such cynicism at such a young age…

kegger: Ditto.  Don’t think I ever wrote a fan letter.  Not my thing.

The piece of childhood pop-culture memorabilia you wish you still had…

amelie: My Little Ponies. I had a TON of them. Mom and Dad used to buy me one when I got sick (no, I didn’t get sick a lot. They bought them for other reasons, too.)

kegger: Oh, gosh.  I had all kinds of things.  My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake dolls, Rainbow Bright dolls… G.I. Joes… Barbies… I have no idea.  This question is hard!

Dorkiest show you watched as a kid:

amelie: Ghostwriter. What a trip.

kegger: Captain Planet!!!  And Ghostwriter

Name a celebrity you’ve met.

amelie: Isaac Hayes. He opened a restaurant in Memphis, and a bunch of friends and I went before the grand opening. He signed autographs for us and danced with some of us (I don’t dance. It’s not pretty.) When I told him my name, he made a cross with his fingers, like “back off.” His third wife and I share a name. When I told him how I spelled my name, he decided I was all right and gave me a hug.

kegger: Morgan Freeman and Genevieve Gorder (the chick that used to be on Trading Spaces)

Name a time you’ve yelled at the TV.

amelie: Um, I yell when I watch football. And, oh yeah, at Supernatural. All the time, “It’s right behind you! TURN AROUND! GOD!” They never listen to me.

kegger: Football, definitely.  And scary movies.  Like when they run in OBVIOUSLY the worst direction possible.  That ticks me off.

The food you smuggle into movie theaters is…

amelie: candy (M&Ms or some other form of chocolate) and maybe a Coke

kegger: A can of Diet Coke and a Caramello or a Reeses

Your favorite reality show:

amelie: Project Runway

kegger:  Project Runway — the ONLY reality show I watch

The most overrated show on TV is…

amelie: Lost. I used to watch it like everyone else in the world. And then I decided that I didn’t need the Angst that Crashed a Plane and all the conspiracy theories and the endless questions without answers.

kegger: Lost and Heroes.  I’m over them both.

The show you’re most excited to see this fall is…

amelie: The Office! The Office! The Office!

kegger:  The Office!  And also Chuck.  I love Chuck.

Favorite movie/television quote:

amelie: “What? Oh, no! It’s the cops! Oh! And a .. construction worker.” GOB, Arrested Development. Oh, and, “It’s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.” Veronica Mars

kegger: Oh gosh. Not the quotes again.  I have to actually THINK of this question.  They don’t just stick flawlessly in my head like they do with amelie.

Two Random Conversations

The Squirrel Conversation

Creed:  “kegger, have you ever thought about being a squirrel?”

kegger:  “Um, no.” 

Creed:  “Really?  You haven’t?” 

kegger:  “No, Creed, I can honestly say I’ve NEVER thought about being a squirrel.  Not once.  Never.” 

Creed:  “Well what do you think of it?  Wouldn’t it be great to be a squirrel?” 

kegger:  “Um… no.  I can think of other animals I’d rather be than a squirrel.” 

Creed:  “Oh, but you could sit up in the trees and just watch everyone!” 

kegger:  “I could sit in a tree and watch people as a PERSON, Creed.” 

Creed:  “Oh, but it would just be so great to be a squirrel!” 

kegger:  “Um… okay.” 

Creed:  “What are you going to be for Halloween?” 

kegger:  “Huh?  It’s August.” 

Creed:  “Well, so.  Don’t you love Halloween?” 

kegger:  “Sure.” 

Creed:  “So what are you going to be?” 

kegger:  “Probably nothing, Creed.” 

Creed:  “Well why not?!” 

kegger:  “I only dress up if I go to a party.  As of now, I have no plans of going to a party.  If I go to a party, I’ll figure it out then.  I don’t just dress up for Halloween just to sit on my butt at home.” 

Creed:  “Don’t you just love fall days?  I can’t wait for fall.  Didn’t it almost feel like fall this morning to you?  A nice, cool fall morning?” 

kegger:  “Um, no.  It was as hot as balls this morning.  Hot and sticky and gross.  It’s August, Creed.  In Mississippi.  We’re nowhere close to fall yet.” 

Creed:  “Wouldn’t you just love to be a squirrel?” 

asdflkjasd;lfkjasdf!!asdl;fkjasl;dfkjasdflkj!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Jason Conversation

Creed:  “kegger, do you ever think about Jason?” 

kegger:  “Who?!?” 

Creed:  “You know, Jason.” 

kegger:  “I don’t know anyone named Jason, Creed.” 

Creed:  “You know.  Freddie?  Jason?  Do you ever think about Jason?” 

kegger:  “Um, no.  Can’t say that I EVER think about Jason.” 

10 minutes later….

Creed:  “Have you been thinking about Jason?” 

kegger:  “Not since the last time you asked me, Creed.” 

2 hours later…..

Creed:  “Are you thinking about Jason?” 

kegger:  “Not even a little bit.” 

30 minutes later….

Creed:  “Man, that Jason…” 

asldf;jasl;dfkjasldfj!!! 

Earlier this morning: 

Creed:  “What do you think of Chucky?” 

And just now: 

Creed:  “If you were to dress Lucy (my dog) up for Halloween, what would she be?”

I didn’t answer.

Funny signs you might see while you’re in China for the Olympics

I hear the Chinese government worked their asses to take down mistranslated signs before the Olympic teams came into town. Go to www.engrish.com if this type of thing amuses you.

This sign was trying to warn that the ceiling was low.

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